Life — May 14, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE T FERS A WLlss THE TOMATO-CAN. A SMALL goat ate a tomato-can ‘And then eight pounds of nails, He finished his meal, by way of dessert, By consuming four large fence-rails. He said to himself, with a jovial smile, As off to his home he ran : “* I'm sure the nails can’t disturb me, But I think the tomato can,” — Yale Record, MR. P, MULVANEY (who is aroused from his first sleep in Ameri Och, sure they must have long days in Amirika, for oi'll shtake me worrd that clock sthruck a ca by the clatter of an alarm clock) : thousand.— Harper's Bazar. He (tneeling at her feet): Only this question : mine ? ‘SHE: Oh, how sudden | He: Torture me no longer. SHE: But why this haste ? He: I cannot stay any longer; —Der Ulk. Do give me a little time to think ! T must have your decision at once. ve a cab waiting at the door. days to rest herself and retinue, and receive such entertainment as was needed, and for the same was charged three hundred thalers. On her departure the landlord besought her with obsequious deference to favor him with her patronage on her return. “Hf you desire that, mein lieber mann,” replied her majesty, you must not again take me for your sign."—Argonaut, cal A CERTAIN Queen of Hanover once upon a time, when traveling, on” stopped at an inn called ‘*The Golden Goose.” She remained two ake | AT a big shooting-party in England, Gerard Start, now Lord Aling- ton, was one of the guests. One of the party who had not succeeded in making himself very popular, said to him on the morning of their departure: “* Would you mind telling me, Start, what you generally give these fellows in the way of tips?” ‘Certainly; {'ll tell you with pleasure. I give the gamekeeper so much, and the butler so much, etc,, but,” he added, **if you will allow me to give you a piece of advice, if T were in your place, 1 wouldn't give them anything at all, You'll never be asked here again! What's the use ?"—Trush. AN Austin man started in the livery stable business last week, and the first thing he did was to have a sign painted representing himself holding a mule by the bridle. *+Is that a good likeness of me ?” he asked of an admiring friend. “Yes, it is a perfect picture of you ; but who is that fellow holding say will you be you by the bridle?" Texas Si/tings. “TAKE up your bed and walk” is not a seasonable injunction to the gardener ; he lays out his bed and walks. “Tere {s music in the heir,” said the young husband, reaching for the Paregoric bo bottle.—Harvard Lampoon. MACKINTOSH STEAMER RuGs, CoaTs, CLOAKS AND CAPS, in varied colors and patterns, and at popular prices. HODCMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS, 459 & 461 Broadway, | 21 West 23d St., Cor. Grand Street. | Adj. Fifth Ave. Hotel 27 Maiden Lane, cor. Nassau St., NEW YORK. ESTABLISHED BUDD: WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, &c. Correct & Exclusive Styles. 1861. Madison Square, NEW YORK. Lompow: 8 King Edward St Panis Orrice: 4 Rue D'Ures -|FLANDRAU & 00. ib CELEBRATED HATS, —AND— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonn The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. aad and 23d Ste. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. (87 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 188. 872, 374, 876 Broome St., and Broadway, 51st St. & 7th Avenue. Elegant Spring and Summer CARRIACES FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY, Lowest Prices for Prompt Cash at Both Repositories, ALL NOVELTIES IN WOOD OR PAINT FOR ONE OR TWO HORSES. Variety of Second -Hand Vehicles. “The Gnest specimen of colonial decoration in the -—the new dining-room at Taylor's St. restaurant, famous for its cuisine. and kd PISO’S CURE _ FOR CURES WHERE Al UL ELSE AILS rh Syrup, Tastes ood. Uso in time. Bola b o CONSUMPTION. & “STREET SWEEPERS.” FASHIONABLE WOMEN NEED OUR SERVICES. DRESS TRAINS CLEANSED. REAL LACES SKILFULLY RESTORED. FRENCH CLEANSING. FANCY DYEING. ‘ABLISHED 1829, LARGEST IN AMERICA. LEWANDO’S French Dyeing and Cleansing Establishment, 365 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK. 17 TEMPLE PLACE, BOSTON. 731 Sixth Avenue, 271 Westminster Street, 1199 Ninth Avenue, Providence, R. 1. leew YORK. 1155 Broadway, ) 327 Thames Street, Newport, Kk. I, comicbooks.com