Life — April 23, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: ONE WAY TO KEEP AWAKE, NO matter how dreary the sermon, IN“ The people will not go to sleep, Ifa bee by chance gets in the church And buzzes loud and deep. —New York Herald, Tui other windy day as a gentleman stood on the Campus Mar- tius waiting for acar his hat blew off and went skylarking down the street. He was gathering himself for a run when another pedestrian called out: ** Stop! sir—stop ! Speaking to me; what is it?" Stand still, sir! Don’t take a step after your hat!” “Butl “Stop 1" By this time two women, five men, three boys and a policeman were in chase of tne hat, and it was not only speedily run down, but the dirt was carefully brushed off by the rescuer before he restored it with a bow and a smile, ~* See ?"" queried the pedestrian who had cried stop. ‘Ido, Thanks. I've learned something new,"— Detroit Free Press, ATKIND-HEARTED lady found a youngster crying against a wall on Race street, yesterday. “What's the matter, bubby ?" she asked, and bubby answered: “How would you like to wear your long-legged brother's pants cut down so the bag of the knees came out at your ankle ?"— Philadelphia record. ‘1 Hear about Chapple’ litte adventure last week ?” No.” “Why, he called on Miss Ethel Lettie and found Chollie there and offered to fight him on the spot.” ** Did she scream ?" ‘Heavens, no. She just spanked them both and sent them home. —Indianapotis Journal. Do you enjoy reading the comic weeklies ? No. Life's too short to— Well, if life's too short, why don't you take *This space can be had by any first-class humorous paper at very low rates. —St. Joseph Ne Frank D. STOCKTON was invited to dinner in Washington some days ago by an artful hostess, who had the kes served in the form of a lady and a tiger. Now which 2” she coolly asked, when they came on. Both, if you please,” he replied, and the problem is still unsolved. — Philadelphia Ledger. Miss Susur: I heard to-day that down to her feet. Miss PALISADE : wn iss Dizzy's hair came almost Young Americans Who do not wish to lose their hair before they are forty, must begin to look after their scalps before they aretwenty.—W. Y, Medical Record. .REVENT BALDNESS Dermatologists tell usthat: The chief requirement of the hair is cleanliness— thorough shampoo- ing for women once a fortnight, and for menonce a week, and that the best agent for the purpose is PACKER'S TAR SOAP. One of Nature’s Remedies, and the IDEAL TOILET SOAP. What did she get it so long for ?—Cloak Review, OAKLEY’S — Handkerchief Extracts ARE OF NLAP & CELEBRATED HATS, —AxD— ats and Bonnets and a. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d and 23d Sts. ACKNOWLEDGED SUPERIORITY ny NEW YORK. Veg, Palmer House, Chicago. 14 Chestnut St., Phila, GF G2 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. CORONADO BEACH, California's great health and pleasure resort, is famed for the COOLNESs OF 178 SUMMERS as well asthe mild- ness of its winters. Coroxapo Rractt has the distinction of being thesiteof THE LARGEST SEASIDE RESORT HOTEL IN THE WORLD—THE Hotet pet CoroNapo covering seven and one-haif acres. Coronado offers attractions to the health or pleasure-seeker not found else- where upon the globe. The Hotel de! Corona- da will soon issue an elegant brochure, descrip- tive of Coronado Beach and its wonderful climate, This beautiful book will be sent, post-paid, upon application to E. S. Babcock, Manager. OAKLEY’S Queen Cologne. DO YOU CORRESPOND? If you desire to be in good form in your correspondence, use only the fine writing papers manufactured by the Whiting Paper Company. You will find them to be the best for all the uses of polite society. Made in rough and smooth finish, and all the fashionable tints. Sold by all dealers in the United States. New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane St. comicbooks.com