Life — April 16, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE: CISGORS AT NvLLVS: WHERE HE FAILED. E had chased a rubber foot-ball Over many a gory field ; He could stand behind a batsman ‘And the mask and mittens wield, In a pugilistic contest He was held among the best. He could mingle in a'riot And enjoy it, too, with zest ; But his fine physique was ruined— Crushed in a most beutal way, When his wife took him out shopping On a ladies’ bargain day. —Buffalo Express, VIsioNLess MENDICANT: Will you not do something to help a poor blind man ? Mrs. SNIPPER (toi/e of exchange editor): Why, yes; 1 cannot give you any money; but if you will call at my house, | will give you plenty of good reading matter.— Boston Courier, AH, my son, you do not know the anguish of being cut by your best Ernet: Oh, at last! It has been years, Alphonse, since I saw you, ALPHONSE: Oh, my own Ethel, it has been centuries ! ETHEL's FATHER (uf in the library): Mary Jane, who was that you just let in ? Mary Jan It was Mr. Cumlots, sir. ETHEL’s FATHER: Great guns! This is the ninth time he’s been here this week, He might as well live here.—London Tid-Bits, Even if Representative Jason B. Brown does come from a rural district in Indiana, he has no hayseed in his hair. A few days ago he hired a cab in front of the Riggs House and drove around where he expected to meet a friend. But his friend was not there, and so he drove back to the hotel around the corner. The trip occupied just six minutes, ** How much ?” he asked the cabman. “ Seventy-five cents.” “Oh, no," said Mr. Brown, “you can only charge seventy-five cents an hour, “I's just the same for a portion of an hour,” said cabby, ‘If that is the case,” said Mr. Brown, ** you can wait here for the balance of the hour, 1 will be in the hotel when your hour is up.” Then he disappeared through the doorway. In less than fifteen min- utes the cabby capitulated. ‘\Give me twenty-five cents and I will go away,” he said. He got his money and departed.—MWashington Post. Two Milwaukee dentists have dissolved after a partnership of twenty three years. They could not pull together any longer.— Yonkers friend till you begin to shave yourself.—Elmira Gazelte, MACKINTOSH STEAMER RuGs, Coats, CLOAKS AND CAPs, in varied colors and patterns, and at popular prices. HODCMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS, 459 & 461 Broadway, | 21 West 23d St., Cor, Grand Street. Adj. Fifth Ave. Hotel 27 Maiden Lane, cor. Nassau St., NEW YORK. + BUDD: WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, &c. Correct & Exclusive Styles. Madison Square, NEW YORK. Lonpon: 8 King Edward St. Pants Orrici Statesman. CONCENTRATED CRAB ORCHARD CaPVvRiczrED. fC * CELEBRATED HATS, Teh aor AD Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Dunlap Si!k Umbrella. 178 a1 ifth Avenue, bet. s2d and 234 Sts., A Positive Cure for and 18: Broadway, oear Cortlandt St, D e yspepsia, NEW YORK. Paimer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. Sick-Headache, Constipation. $B Acencies in all Principal Cities, Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. This concentrate 1s obtained by sraprst } ing natural Crab Orchard Water. Each bot- tle (6 ounces) equivalent to two gallons nat- ural water. Price Sicents, See that "Crab ¢ Apple” trade-mark Is on the label. A Certain Remedy tor Diseases of the LIVER AND STOMACH Sold by all Druggists. SEND FOR PAMPHLET. » Crab Orchard Water Co. LOUISVILLE, KY. New York Depot, P. Scherer Co., 11 Barclay St.“ Piso's Remedy for Catarrh is the Best, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest, CATARRH Sold by druggists or sent by mall. SOc. E.T. Hazeitiog, Warren, Pa. SWIFT CYCLES. 100,000 IN USE. ABOUT MEN’S DRESS. — RY A— NEW YORK CLUBMAN. A useful manual, especially for voung men de- = Rane “Bwitt” by mame, and “Swit” by Nat Send for Catalogue, COVENTRY MACHINISTS’ CO., 289 Col Bost 4 Rue D'Uzes’ We have the most practical Ladies’ Safety made. sirous of dressing economically and yet according to the canons of good taste. For sale by all boo! sellers, or the publishers will mail direct on receipt of price. 30 cents. D. APPLETON & ©O., 1, 8 & & Bond Street, . NEW YORK. comicbooks.com