Life — April 9, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: PAT SeWGORS AT Nill F all the deadly things that war Against our peace and kill us, The worst and deadliest foe by far, As proved by the researches of ‘scientific men in Germany, France, and several towns in Michigan, who have made the matter a study, and found out by experimenting with guinea pigs and other cheap animals how to cure almost anything except warts and catarh, Is merely a bacillus, Chicago Tribune. PResipent Boarb oF PoLice ComsissioneRs: We are sorry to say, O'Hoolohan, that you are discharged from the force. O'HOOLAHAN : An‘ fer phwat cause, yer honor ? Presipent : A jewelry store was burglarized in your district. you meet a man on your beat last night ? O'Hootanan: Yis, your honor.” I met a man an’ he said, said he, he was going to open a jewelry sture. Presipent : He did open a jewelry store and stole $5,000 worth of goods. Did Young Americans Who do not wish to lose their hair before they are forty, must begin to look after their scalps before they aretwenty.—W. ¥. Medical Record. REVENT O'HootaHaN : The man may have been a thafe, but he was no liar,—The Jewelers Circular, MAGISTRATE (fc frisoner): You are found guilty of meeting the plaintiff in a lonely street, knocking him down, and robbing him of everything except a valuable gold watch which he had with him, What have you to say ? PRISONER: Had he a gold watch with him at the time ? Certainly. Then I put in a plea of insanity.—From the French, De Ketcuum: Heard the news at the club? No, what is it ? De KetcHum :” Old Fuse has given up smoking. HIsMARK : Actually ? De Ketcnum: Yes, he was visiting some granite quarries, and he accidentally dropped his cigar ashes into a keg of blasting powder.— New York Ledger. Jack WITHERSPOON: Really, Miss Rosebudde, I don’t know when I have had an hour pass so quickly. Miss Rosesuppe: Well, I suppose not, since you have only been here twenty minutes.—Princeton Tiger. Maup: Oh, I'm invited to the Wayups’ ball; but I don't know what in the world to wear. What would you wear if you had my com- plexion ? Miticent; A thick veil.—Boston Courier. OAKLEY’S Handkerchief Extracts BALDNESS Dermatologiststell us that: The chief requirement of the hair is cleanliness— thorough shamj ing for women once a fortnight, and for men once a week, and that the best agent for the purpose is PACKER’S TAR SOAP. One of Nature's Remedies, and the IDEAL TOILET SOAP. = HELIO-VIOLET sacxer powner- For Sale by all Dealers. COPVRIGEYED. CELEBRATED HATS, AD Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Dunlap Sitk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. sad and a3 Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. $4 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 188%. SWIFT CYCLES. USE. => “Bwitt™ by a Send for Catalogue. COVENTRY MACHINISTS’ CO., c. 11 & 18 Madison St., Chicago, IN, We have the most practical Ladies’ Safety made. Piso's Remody for Catarrh is the Best, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest. CATARRH Sold by druggists or sent by mail. Wo. E.T. Hazeitine, Warren, Pa ARE OF ACKNOWLEDGED SUPERIORITY Vo, Yy . OAKLEY’S Queen Cologne. THIS LABEL IS ON THE BEST RIBBON MADE. LATEST SHADES ax NEWEST STY Sold by dealer in Fine Goods. Manufactured by JOSEPH LOTH & CO. New York. comicbooks:com