Life — February 26, 1891 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: T §EGORS A MLL A COMPENSATION. HE head and the heart in the game of love, Must play its separate part ; But we'll pardon a girl a cold in the head, So long’s she's not cold in the heart. —Philadelphia Times, For two months before election he had been seeing nothing in the papers but appeals to citizens to register. Every page seemed to hold 3. in all sorts of places and all sorts of type. It was too much for him, and he felt his head beginning to swim. At last he grabbed his gripand went for Canada. Entering a hotel, he said : ‘*Give me a room for the rest of my natural life.” “+ But won't you please register ?” asked the clerk. “What! here, too!" gasped the unfortunate man ; and from that moment he became a raving maniac.— Philadelphia Times, Dr. JOHNSON was once seated in the midst of a large dinner-party. He inadvertently placed in his mouth a hot potato, but, suddenly eject- ing it, he turned to the hostess with this remark: ‘* Madam, a fool would have burned himself !""—Argonaut. 133 “Yes, Charles, I have determined to give up the muse, I shall write no more.” * Why, Thomas, the world will pine for the lyrics of your pen, And will you be so heartless ?” “Yes, Charles, I must. I write for fame, and what is fame ?- Even now the world denies Homer of existence, and declares Shakespeare an impostor. I cannot, I will not subject myself to inevitable indignity.” —Chicago Times, Well, did you get that situation as office boy ? on: No ‘What was the matter? Don't know. The gent is a lawyer, and he asked me if 1 was a good whistler, and I told him I was the best whistler on our street, and he said 1 wouldn't do. Guess he must want a reg’la professional.—Good News. ‘THERE, Miss Arethusa, won't you lift your chin up a little? There. And now if you will hold up that racquet carelessly—like that will do. Now I guess weare ready. Holdon. By George! I forgot to bring out ang plate with me. Stand just as you are (or fifteen minutes until I go to the house and get one."—Western Rural. WAITER (looking in on a noisy card-party in hotel bed-room): V've been sent to ask you to make less noise, gentlemen. The gentleman in the next room says he can’t read. Host OF THE PARTY: Tell him he ought to be ashamed of him- self, Why, I could read when I was five years old |—ich Me Up. Fair Skin. - - as Soft as Silk. A Kansas Girl on Horseback yj ya my time in the open air in the saddle, on the prairie, and in spite of the sharp western winds, | OAKLEY’S Handkerchief Extracts ARE OF ACKNOWLEDGED SUPERIORITY. wy skin is as soft as silk, and as fair as any one ould wish—all due to Packer's Tar Soap, which T have used for years, and consider the finest thing for the complexion.” Packer's Tar Soap is pure, mild and curative. CELEBRATED HATS, Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Danlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d and 934 Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. A laxury for Bath and Shampoo. It soothes while it cleanses. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. Sa Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 18%. ny THE DELICIOUS Fragrance, refreshing coolness and soft beau- ty imparted to the skin by Pozzoni's Powcer commend it to all ladies. OAKLEY’S Queen Cologne. HAVE YOU TRIED ““Whiting’s Standard Writing Paper and Envelopes” made by Whiting Paper Co., Holyoke, Mass.? You will find > HELIO-VIOLET saceT powner: them the best for correspondence and all the uses of polite For Sale by all Dealers. society. Cream and Azure, rough and smooth finish, all sizes. Ask your stationer for ‘‘ Whiting Standard.” comicbooks.com