Life — February 26, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

POLICE COURT DRAMAS. Dramatis Persona, Juvce Retuy O'Divver—A saloon-keeping, Irish, Catholic, Tammany, Democratic appointee of a saloon-backing, Irish, Catholic, Tammany Democratic Mayor. Janey McGuire—An Irish, Catholic, Tammany, Democratic clerk of the court, appointed by Judge O'Divver. Mr. McGuirk hopes to realize enough from the position to set up a saloon of his own, Jusricn—Who has nothing to do with the case, Bartirrs, Corrans, Buss, ef ad, 1S HONOR (afzbly): Good mornin’, Mr. furrust case, av you please. Pouicemax A: Viceazo Mafetti, He had a disagreement with his landlord and lay in wait for him in a dark hallway. He stabbed him three times in the back with a stiletto— His Honor: Discharged. I became McGuirk, Call the Pouicemax Cz liv. the — aaman and Driscoll fighting on Mott street. z His Honor: Fwhat was it, Jack? Mr. Driscort: This way, your Honor. I was walkin’ tru’ Mott street whin I mit this haythin, I ast him to treat me, an’ thin he stook out his tongue at me, When he saw the officer comin’, he put his ear betune me teet’, and dthat’s what mek’s him so bloody. His Hoxor: Ah Lung, tin dollars. Driscoll, you're discharged. Nist case. Poticeman D: Abram Einstein. Obstructing the sidewalk, He works for Cohen, the clothes man, and stands outside to drag people in, His Hoxor (sotto voce): Mr. McGuirk, isn’t Cohen the sheeny gintleman that contributed so handsomely to the campaign fund ? THe CLERK: Yes, your honor. His Hoxor: Two dollars fine. THe CLERK: No more to-day. Nixt case. A MEAN INSINUENDO. ss ARRISON is a bricl “ That's a slur on William Henry Harrison.” “Why?” “ You insinuate that there is a brick in his hat.” the grandfather last night to as fine a pair of twins as iver bore the name of O'Divver, and I promised I would dis- charge the first prisoner brought before me this mornin’, Nixt case. Pouiceman B: Terence Flynn, Reck- less driving. Drove his butcher-cart down Fifth avenue with his horse on the run, and at Forty-seventh street run over two children, ‘Who do you work for ? Mr. Kelly. His Hoxor: Fwhat Kelly ? The Prisoner: Patrick Kelly. THe CLERK (s2fto voce): He's the Tammany leader in my district, your Honor, 1 told him you'd be easy with Flynn, His Honor: Young man, you want to be more careful after this, Discharged. Nixt case. Derective Lysci: Emest Ran- dolph ; disorderly conduct. Loafing on the corner of Broadway and Park Place. His Honor: You're the reporterthat made fun of this court, ain't you ? THe Prisoner: Yes, 1 wrote you up, but that hasn't anything to do with this charge. I was waiting for a street car when this man took me in. His Honor: All right, me gay laddy- buck. You can take your choice between twinty-five dollars and a vacation on the Island. Write me up, is it? Mr. McGuirk, just charge this fine gintleman twinty-five dollars more for contimpt of court, Nixt case, Poticeman C : Ah Lung. His Hovor : cumstances ? BECAUSE A DI: PERFORMANC! “Yes, THAT Is so," John Driscoll and Phwat were the cir- A SMALL SCENE. “THE PLAY THAT MR. DAWSON WROTE FOR THE Home HisTRIONICS WAS SPOILT, I HEAR, INGUISHED PATRONESS OSTENTATIOUSLY LEFT THE HOUSE DURING THE “WHAT OFFENDED HER?” ‘\T UNDERSTAND SHE SAID THE ACTORS INTERRUPTED THE TALKING IN THE ROXES.” comicbooks.com