Life, 1891-01-29 · page 10 of 14
Life — January 29, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Police Court Dramas" Satire This page satirizes the judicial theater of police courts through scripted dramatic dialogue. The content mocks how police court proceedings resembled theatrical performances, with judges, officers, and defendants playing predictable roles. The illustrated scene ("At Last") depicts a woman confronting another woman under a bed—likely referencing domestic scandal or infidelity cases common in police court testimony of the era. The dramatic persons listed include Judge Reilly O'Dwyer and other court figures portrayed as stock characters. The satirical dialogue shows the repetitive, formulaic nature of cases: drunkenness charges, assault, disorderly conduct. The humor targets how these proceedings became entertainment spectacles, with judges treating them as moral melodramas rather than serious judicial matters. The page suggests police courts were less about justice and more about public performance and moralistic judgment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
POLICE COURT DRAMAS. Daamatis Persona. Juoce Retty O'Divver—A saloon-keeping, Irish, Catholic, Tammany, Democratic appointee of a saloon-backing, Irish, Catholic, Tammany, Democratic Mayor. Janey McGuirx—An Irish, Catholic, Tammany, Democratic clerk of the court, appointed by Judge O'Divver. Mr, McGuirk hopes to realize enough from the position to set up a saloon of his own, Jestice—Who has nothing to do with the case. Bartivrs, Corres, Bums, ef al, HS HONOR: Call the furrust case, Fwhat's the charge, officer? PoticeMan A.: Drunk and disorderly on the street, Resisting an officer. His Hoxor: Fwhat’s your name, prisoner? Tue Prisoner : Gertrude Ellis, His Honor; Fwhat's your residince ? The Prisoner: My home is in Detroit. His Honor: Fwhat are the circumstances, officer ? Pottceman A.: I found the prisoner, dead drunk, on the sidewalk at the corner of Broadway and Twenty-first street. I pulled her up on her feet to run her in when she struck at me and began to scream, and T had to rap for my side-partner an’ took the both of us to lug her to the station, His Hosor: Fwhat have you to say, prisoner ? Tne Prisoner: Believe me, sir. I had not been drinking. I have never tasted liquor, I wason my feet all day shopping. I have not been well and I think I must have fainted. The first thing I knew when I regained consciousness was that some one was shaking me roughly, and when I opened my eyes I saw the policeman and a crowd of people staring at me. I screamed and tried to get my arm away from him, He tore my clothing and rapped with his club on the side- walk. Another policeman came and together they picked me up and carried me, with all that crowd following, to the station house. Here with my clothing almost torn off, another officer asked me some questions. I gave him the name of a friend of my husband’s, who would gladly have come to identify me. He said I would have to give an officer two dollars to carry the message, but when I fell I had dropped my purse and Thad no money. So they locked me in a cell with an awful creature suffering from delirium tremens, who used horrible language and screamed all the night through. His Honor: Fwhere were you stoppin’ ? Tue Prisoner: I only came here day before yesterday and was staying at a boarding-house. His Honor (cunningly): Fwhere is that boardin’ house ? Tue PRrisoseR: Ido not know, sir. Lam a perfect stranger here, and the address of the house was in the purse which I lost. His Hoxor: Too thin, too thin, me gay lady! Don't you attimpt to desayve is court, Ten days; Mr, McGuirk—put it on the book— and the nixt time you want to have a little spree, keep off the street. (The prisoner faints.) Carry her out, officer. Throw a bucket of Croton over her an’ she'll be all right. Nixt case. Poticeman B.: Owen Dempsey, Michael Doolan, and AT LAST. Mrs, Cobwigger : DID YOU EVER FIND A Mas Mrs, Merritt: Ves IN THE HOUSE. I FOUND MY HUSBAND THERE, UNDER THE BED? THE NIGHT WE THOUGHT THERE WERE BURGLARS Terence Hennessey, Assault. Hermann Meyer, Com- plainant. His Hoxor: Meyer, take the stand and be sworn. THe Complainant: You see, Shudge, I vas an old man and lame in vun leck. I vas goin’ up Tenth Evenue und dese boys stopped me und esked me for a quarter for beer. 1 tolt'em I hed no money und den vun of dem says ‘* Trow him down, McGluskey,” und dey all dree jumped on me. Vun of dem chewed my ear, anutter vun kicked me und de utter vun took my silver watch vot my old mutter gafe me in the old guntry. His Hoxor: Don't you boys live up in my neighbor- hdod > One oF THE Prisoners: Yes, your honor. Hts Hoxor: You belong to fwhat they call the Red Gang, don’t you? ONt oF THE PRISONERS: Yes, your honor. Hts Honor: I thought so. As bad a lot as iver went unhung and ivery mother's son of you is bound straight for the State Prison. I'l give you three a good start. Demp- sey, I'll give you— THE CLERK (whispering): A letter from the Mayor's Office, yer honor. His Honor (after reading the note): H'm, Now boys ye're gittin’ altogether too bysterous ia your play. Fwhy don't you chase goats or do somethin’ innocent like that? Ye're discharged. Meyer, you're too old a man to interfere with the boys’ sports. Remimber that you was young yoursilf wanst, Nixt case. Bitty O'Rory: Mornin’, Judge. as last time ? His Honor: Fwhat was it? Fifty? Mr. McGuirk, enter William O'Rory, fifty dollars fine, keeping a disor- derly house, (4side.) How's business, Billy ? Bitty O’Rory (alsa aside): 1 ain't got-no reason to com- How much? Same comicbooks.com