Life — January 22, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LEE GUSTY’S STORY. bi ‘SAY: Gusty, where was you to las’ night?" asked one newsboy of another as they sat on the City Hall steps waiting for the last edition of the evening papers to come out. ‘De fellers was playin’ craps over by de pos’= office, and becuz you wasn’t dere, dat big duff Kinzie walked off wid allde bood’ dere was in de crowd. If you'd been dere he couldn't a’ done it, nohow.” “Where was 1? To de teyater in me private box, 0° course. How much did Kinzie git?” “'Most a dollar. Wat teayter was you to?” “| had a box in Harrigan's, an’ I tell you dat's a daisy play.” whatever de actors says to each oder what ain't in de play. An’ you have a soft seat so you don't have to stan’ up be- tween de acts to rest yourself.” “What's de play about,” asked Chimmie. “Say, dat’s de boss play. It knocks de spots out o’ all de plays dat Harrigan ever had. Dey’'s coons in it, an’ sailors, an’ doods, an’ dey’s just like de coons an’ sailors an’ doods you see aroun’ everywhere, only dey does more tings dan real folks does. An’ den dere’s a lot of sluggin’ an’ jig- dancin’ an’ singin’. Not real sluggin’ you know, but make believe. An’ dey was a girl by the name o’ Lewis wot played de part of a tough fighter’s sister. She was kinder tough herself, but she was bully jus’ de same, an’ if ever she wants a paper off o' me I won't charge her nuthin’ fur it. An’ laugh! I pirty near laughed meself sick. An’ dere was a lot o’ men an’ women down in de seats wid diamon's, an’ rubies, an’ silks, an’ satins and swaller-tails, and dey laughed jus’ as hard as I did, so I guess dey liked it too. But you ought to seen dose folks look at me. I guess dey never seed a newsie in a box before. Mebbe dey tought I was Jay Goul’ in dis- guise. But dere’s de extry out. Come on, Chimmie, or we'll git lef’.” Metcalfe. “Aw, stop stuffin’ now, body's check ?” “Naw; I'm givin’ it to you straight, an’ I had a box Did you ring in on some- all to meself.” “Like ducks you did.” “Well, I did, now. Shortie de cripple, was stuck wid his papers, and I was tryin’ to help him out when tree fellers come along, all of ‘em wid jags on. I tole ‘em how Shortie would git licked if he didn’t sell his papers, and dey bought all he had and give him a quarter besides. Den one of ‘em said: ‘Say, Jack, why don’t you give de kids dem teayter tickets? If you's goin’ to de scrap day ain't no useto you!’ Den de feller dey called Jack jus’ put his han’ in his pock an’ said: ‘Boys, I lost ‘em all but one,’ and den he gi’ me a ticket.. I asked him where it was to, and he said Harrigan’s, so I went up to de ole Harrigan's, an’ de feller on de door said dat Harrigan’s had moved over into Tirty-fift street, so 1 went over dere. When 1 give up de ticket to de feller on de door he called de copper and asked me where I got de ticket. I tol’ him, and den de copper'asked me a lot o' questions, and den he said de kid was all straight an’ dey tore de ticket in two an’ let me goin. De feller gi’ me back half de ticket an’ tole me to give it to a feller in a swaller-tail coat, 1 give it to him, an’ he looked at me pretty hard, an’ den he give it to anudder feller in a swaller-tail an’ said box A. Den dat duck took me down in front an’ put me in a box all by me lonely. Say, Chimmie, you never sit in a box, did you?” “Naw,” replied “ Chimmie.” “You hear me, it beats de front row in de gallery silly. You kin see behin’ de scenes, and'you kin hear Sir Anthony Absolute: voty as I cHoose, (ONE MOMENT, SIR, WHILE 1 ASSURE THE AUDIENCE THAT I MEAN NOTH- ING PERSONAL—'IIS SO IN THE TEXT). AS—ETC., ETC. A PARENTHESIS, (Necessary to any production of “The Rivals” at the present time.) Zounps! StRRAH! THE LADY SHALL BE AS SWE SHALL HAVE A HUMP ON EACH SHOULDER! TO RESUME, SIR, SHE SHALL RE