Life — January 8, 1891 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“EERE AvT NvLLy PERFIDIOUS MAN. N the first years of wedlock the husband is fond OF his wife, whom he praises and pets ; But he sometimes grows careless, and if she’s a blonde He is constantly praising brunettes! —Cape Cod Item. Mk. aNb Mas. Cooren do not get along well together. She is not to blame, for he is always saying spiteful things. For instance, when she happened to say that a murderer had been sentenced for ninety-nine years in the penitentiary, he remarked “Well, he is in good luck.” ** How'so?" “+ He will have siet time of it until he gets out, and then he will be too old to marry. Texas Siftiugs. Wuiex she opened the door she found a man on the steps whose lips were blue with cold, and before he had time to ask for old clothes or a bite to eat, she exclaimed : “* Ye—yes'm,” he gasped. “The first thing to do is to come in and get warm.” “Yes'm, but right here I would like to ask a question. Do you mean that I shall sit by a stove and absorb artificial heat, or will you place an axe in my hand and tell me to warm myself up by exercise ?” AS he went into the kitchen, it is probable that she had reference to an easy job.—Detroit Free Press. Brows : By the way, temperance is rather a misnomer in his case. most intemperate man I ever heard. Foce : How lucky it is that his intemperance doesn’t take the form he inveighs against. Great Scott! if he should take to drinking, there wouldn't be anything left for anybody else.—Boston Transcrif I've just been listening to Lean, the temperance lecturer. He's the Wuex Dan Beard had been engaged to design the illustrations for “ Mark Twain's" last book, “A Yankee in King Arthur's Court,” he wrote to Mr. Clemens, asking what instructions he wished to give. Mr. Clemens, a few days later, shambled into Mr. Beard’s studio. “Me. Beard,” (oh, if the types could only reproduce that draw! of his). ‘Mr. Beard,” he said, ** i somebody should come to me and say, ‘Clemens, I want you to write a story for me,’ I'd say, ‘All right, Til write a story for you.’ But if somebody should come to me and say, * Clemens, here's a story I want you to write for me,’ and then should begin to tell me the story, I'd say, ‘Hold on, you blamed fool, you don’t want to hire me ; you want to hire a typewriter.’ ” This, Mr, Beard says, was the extent of instructions given by Mr. “Why, you poor fellow | A TESTIMONIAL REGARDING HODGMAN’S MACKINTOSHES. “The Mackintosh arrived today in good shape, and Lam more than pleased with it. "Tue rrr ts EXCELLENT and the WOXKMANSHIF SUPERIOR TO axy coat I have ever seen.” This is but one of the many unsolicited testimonials which are daily recived concerning the Fixest WATERPROOF GARMENTS EVER MAT HODCMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS; BROADWAY, | | 21 West 28d St., Cor. Grand Street. | Adj. Fifth Ave. Hotel. Vv YORK. ESTABLISHED + BUDD+ WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, &c. Correct & Exclusive Styles. Madison Square, 1861. NEW YORK. Lonvow : 8 King Edward St. Panis Ornice: 4 Rue D'Uzes You are almost frozen!" TOURS! TO THE GOLDEN GATE, affording a visit of THREE WEEKS in CALIFORNIA. THE TOURISTS TRAVEL BY A SUPERBLY APPOINTED TRAIN Of Pullman, Vestibule Drawing-Room, Steeping, Smoking and Library, Dining ‘and Observation Cars— an exact Counterpart of the Pennsylvania Limited, FEBRUARY 7th, 1891- * ) MARCH 3d, 1891. TARTING ) MARCH 26th, 1891. APRIL 14th, 1891, Excursion Tickets, ixe"csscates"sina sustenance en route in both directions and side trips to San Diego, Kiverside, Pasadena, Santa Barbara, Monterey and San Jose (Mt. Hamilton), from New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, $275.00 FOR THE FIRS OND, AND THIRD. AND 8300.00 FOR THE FOURTH. Tourlst Agest and Chaperes Accempaay the Party, For itinerary containing full information, ad- dress GEO, W. BOYD, Assistant General Passen- ger Agent, Philadelphia, Pa. CHAS. E. PUGH, General Manager. J. R. WOOD, 't Passenger Agent. Clemens,—Analostan Magazine, PENNSYLVANIA| TABLE FURNITURE. JOHN MASON, 246 FIFTIU AVE., NEW YORK, FORMERLY WITH TIFFANY & CO., Having completed his stock of Table Furniture for the coming season, is prepared to show the newest examples of the Silver- smiths’ and Glasscutters’ Art, in both ordinary and unique shapes, the designs of many being entirely original and produced under his personal supervision, JOHN 246 FIFTH AVE. W YORK. MASON, Cure by Absorption, when all other porous plasters fail. Try one and be convinced of their sterling worth. 25c. at druggists Grosvenor & Richards, Boston. comicbooks.com