Life, 1891-01-08 · page 12 of 20
Life — January 8, 1891 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Romance of a Poor Young Man" — Life Magazine Satire This page presents a comedic playlet mocking the leisured upper class. Two idle wealthy men—Tyred and Board—lounge at a fashionable club smoking and doing nothing. When Tyred asks Board for advice about his financial troubles (unpaid tailor bills, no inheritance, failed marriage prospects), Board's solution is devastatingly simple: "Go to work." The satire targets the genteel poor—men of social standing too proud for labor but too broke to maintain appearances. Their affected speech ("demme," "deah boy"), constant cigarette lighting, and paralyzed indecision while creditors circle exemplify a class dependent on family money or advantageous marriages rather than employment. The punchline—that work is unthinkable, almost insulting—exposes the absurdity of this lifestyle. The accompanying sketches (a man signaling for a plumber, a roasted turkey) provide comic relief but reinforce themes of desperation and class anxiety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
28 THE ROMANCE OF A POOR YOUNG MAN. CHARACTERS REPRESENTED. Me. B. Oxxe Tyreo, 4 Pacr Young Man. Me. Oxvite Boaro, Mis Friend, Time—The Presen Piace—A Fashionable Club. (UWhes the curtain riser Tyeno and Boao are discovered doing nothing.) TrR D: Demme—egad. (Lights cigarette.) Roanp: Aw—yes—weally, (Lights cigarette.) (Both assume attitudes as if thinking.) TyRED (suddenly); Can you assist me with— Boarp (drops cigarette in alarm): Eht what? TyRED: With some advice ? Board: Oh—ah—cemmit. (Much relieved ; lights another cigarette.) TyRep: Your uncle was, er is—correct me if | err—a Congressman ? Boarp (much embarrassed): vis my father. Well? Tyren: Consequently you must inherit a genius for diplomacy. The fact is, old man, | am financially up a tree, and the vital question is—how am I to better my condition ? Boab: Aw—hum, (Muses with cane in mouth.) Tyrep: I need hardly tell you that I have been thinking over this matter for some time, and Heaven knows I have left no means untried. You must know Iam an orphan! Bann (tetth interest): Then you have no father or mother ? TyReD: Not one, I have only an uncle, but I give you my sacred word of honor that I have done everything to persuade him to make me an allowance. Boarn (pityingly): He refused ? Tyren (bi¢ferly): He did—with oaths. Boaro: You have a brother ? Tyrev: A brother! Ha! ha! (/augas sardonically). He is unworthy of the name, When I put my case to him he replied coldly that he had all he coukd do to provide for his own family. Boarn: Did you argue the point ? Tyren: I tried to make him reali tailor’s bill Boarp: He relented ? Tyrep: He did (géomily) not. Roarn ( fedly): Tyrer 2 his shame. 1 showed him my Demmit. What more could I expect ? (Wipes away a sneer.) Boaro: [have long suspected it. TyRen (sadly: None. Boarn (trying (0 look wise): U have it,old man! Try matrimony. TYRED (earnestly): You don't know how I have tried, deah boy, and the number of rebuffs and insults I have received would have discouraged an ordinary man. Boar (relapsing into vacuity): Aw—yaas. TyRED: I have been treated with positive cruelty, and Heaven knows no man could have been less exacting in his demands. I never made beauty a requisite, and I even consented to overlook a bad temper. I said again and again that all 1 asked was enough for both of us to live on. Dem such beastly avarice ! Boarb (soothingly) : have a frozen absinthe. Tyrep (dark Don’t talk to me of drinks! With tailors not particular about fits, and tradesmen dilatory about sending home things, I'm beginning to feel like a dem'd cad. You have a father, old chappie, but (despair ingly) am an orphan ! Boarb: No chance of a legacy ? TyrEp (disgustedly): Naw, Boarn (after reflection); Old chappie, I see but one recourse for you. Tyre (eagerly): Name it, Boarn (firm Go to work, He is in—ha! ha!—business. No other dem’'d relatives ? Absolutely sickening, Let's go fomewhere and - LIFE - Tred: Goto—(gasfs). Did I understand you to say— Boar (heroically): Yaas. Work! Why, I know some real nice fellows who work. They are— Tyrep (/eebly): Orville, I did not—expect—this—of you ! I— (Stoons.) Boarp: Ah—demmit! What a brute Iam, tobe sure! Here! waiter! steward ! lend a hand, will you? Quick Curtaty. Mrs. > Out, GEORGE! SHALL I SEND FOX THE PLUMBER ? Amateur plumber, between gasps : GRAPH TO THE LIFE SAVING STATION FOK A BOAT AND CREW! CUI BONO? RIMUS: Secundus, what good is your earthly treasure? You can’t take it with you when you die. I am laying up treasure in Heaven. SEC Treasure in Heaven! What good will it ever do you there ? * ABREAST OF THE TIMES.” comicbooks.co