Life — November 20, 1890 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: ‘ia THE CONQUEROR CONQUERED. [8 southern archipelagos he fought the bloody cannibal ; He‘d skinned and tanned the crocodile and found him very tannable ; Not a word of fear he'd uttered, not a word and not a syllable, When he killed the Bengal tiger, and he found him very killable. He claimed his strength was very great, for bears and lions suitable ; He used to boot the grizzly bear, and found him very bootable ; He claimed in killing monstrous snakes that he was very capable, No boa-constrictor could escape, for he was unescapable. Just then his wife came in and said, ** I'd think it quite commendable If you'd come and tend the baby ; and you'll find him very tendable. ‘The way she took him by the ear will make this poem readable ; She pulled him out and fed him home, and found him very leadable. —Worcester Gasette. AND now a new one—warranted—about has come all the way from Australia by Melbourne physician to be vaccinated. Mrs. Potter, and which rivate mail, Cora went to a he latter asked : acker’s # ar Soap Is one of Nature's Reme- dies, and the IDEAL ® for TOILET, BATH and SHAMPOO. 25 C ts per Cake. Drugyists. . No. 11 East 19th Street, _A. JAECKEL, FURRIER, BXCLUSIVE STYLES IN FUR CAPES, JACKETS AND LONG GARMENTS. ++ Where do you wish to be vaccinated, Mrs. Potter?” The lovely Cleopatra hung her red gold head and answered : “Ah! doctor, in our profession one must be vaccinated where it will not show.” To which came the quick reply : “Mrs, Potter you will have to swallow the virus."—Chicago Herald, PROFESSOR (to students): “*Smoke away gentlemen, it does not annoy me in the least. I look on tobacco in the same light as hay. 1 don't eat it myself, but I like to see others enjoy it."—Sterne und Blumen. ‘THe custodian of the large hall in Cooper Union told the policeman on guard at the Municipal League mass meeting last week that he wanted the front row of seats reserved for ladies when the doors were opened. It cost the policeman and custodian and the custodian's assis- tants a great deal of trouble to keep that front row vacant, but they succeeded. Several ladies entered the hall and were politely invited to ** step right down in front." They were shown to the front row, but, after glancing at the empty seats, they turned back and found ‘other places not so far forward. Not one woman could be induced to sit down in that front row. ‘The gallant custodian was sorely puzzled, and finally he mustered sufficient courage to ask one lady who declined to accept his invitation to sit in the front row, why she objected. ** I don't want to sit there," she exclaimed impatiently, ‘* because there is no place to put my feet."—Argonaut, OAKLEY'S Heliotrope Sachet OAKLEY’S Handkerchief Extracts One of acknowledged Superiority. A Pretty Box of Two Bottles 114 ounce size, makes a Reasonable and Acceptable Holi- day: Gift. OAKLEY’S Received the Grand Gold Med- al at the Paris Expo- sition, 1889. Headquarters for Russian Sables. To be in good form in your correspondence ? QUEEN COLOGNE. DO YOU DESIRE Use only the fine stationery manufactured by the Whiting Paper Co., of -o HELIO-VIOLET sacner powoen.: For Sale by all Dealers. Holyoke, Mass with their goods. correspondence, Every dealer in stationery can supply you They are the finest made for high-class Ask for Whiting’s Standard Papers. New York Factories, 150 and 152 Duane St. comicbooks.com