Life, 1890-10-09 · page 13 of 14
Life — October 9, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 195: Satirical Commentary This page contains multiple humor pieces satirizing early 1900s social conventions: **"Love's Sacrifices"** mocks the entitlement of young men. A woman (Pauline) details her extensive romantic efforts—mending clothes, singing, providing transportation, spending her allowance—while her suitor (Fitzwilliam), described as merely "an eighteen-year-old boy," remains languidly indifferent. His "generous" offer—permission to boast about kissing him—exposes his callous vanity. The satire critiques male ingratitude and the unequal emotional labor in courtship. **"A Parental Soliloquy"** uses dark humor about parental politics: a father nostalgically recalls his son as a child, then reveals his modern frustration—the boy now votes Republican (G.O.P.), contradicting the father's presumed politics. The closing threat of corporal punishment jokes about generational political conflict. **"An Incident in Darkest Africa"** satirizes explorers' imperial arrogance. Stanley complains that swearing at a "black brute" in the local language provided no satisfaction—because the man couldn't understand insults. The joke mocks colonizers' assumptions of superiority while unable to even communicate effectively.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LOVE'S SACRIFICES, A Tale of Bar Harbor, PaULiNE—a maiden, Fitzwittiam—a man (that is what is called a man at college, #, ¢., an eighteen-year-old boy). SHE: Fitzwilliam, it is now a month since first we met, and during that time we have been much together. HE (languidly): Evenso; amonth. By Jove, it seems like a year, doesn’t it? SHE: During that time we have been on the most familiar terms. I have done everything I could to amuse you, and make your stay here agreeable. I have mended your tennis blazer; 1 have sung to you in the pale moonlight. I have taken you out numberless times in my naphtha launch, and likewise in my village cart. I have had papa send you wines and cigars from thecity,and I have spent my entire persona! allowance in presents for you. I have permitted you to kiss me at reasonable intervals, and have not insisted on your telling me a dozen times a day that you loved but me alone. HE (drowszly): 1 guess you're right, Pauline. SHE: Now, don’t you think that it would be just and fair for you to make some sacrifice for my sake? Not such a great sacrifice ; just something to prove that you really have an affection for me. HE (royally): Pauline, 1 will be more than just and fair. I will be generous. I will give you—ah—permission to tell the other girls at the hotel that I have kissed you. Tom Hall. Disgusted Liver and White (to would-be sportsman who has just missed his sixth covey): SAY, LET'S GO HOME; YOU MAKE ME TiRED. 1 DON'T BELIEVE YOU COULD HIT A FLO:K OF LAKGE- SIZED FEATHER PILLOWS AT THREE-FOOT RISE. “I'M AFRAID YOU WILL HAVE TO LOOK FORK A NEW PLACE BE FORE THE FIRST OF THE MONTH, BRIDGET.” WHAT FUR, Matam ?"* Ik, SMITH OBJECTS TO SO MUCH WASTE IN THE KITCH LOR’ MA'AM, IF THAT'S ALL, I'LL LACE MESILF WIDIN A! OF ME LOIFE.” A PARENTAL SOLILOQUY. TO A RATTERED TOY, HOU callest forth the sweetest memories Of days gone by, ‘pon which I fondly dote; When my dear son sat on his father’s knees, Pretending they were choo-choo cars, or boat. To-day the boy’s a man: I love him still; He's independent, too, as he can be, And every Fall he makes his parents ill, By casting votes against the G. O. P. Ah! would he were that pretty babe of yore; I pine for those old days, alas! now gone— So I could place him on my knees once more, Face downward—Gad! how I would lay it on. John Kendrick Bangs. AN INCIDENT IN DARKEST AFRICA, EPHSON: What makes you look so exhausted ? J STANLEY: Here I have been swearing at that black brute over there for over half an hour in the Iyuga tongue, and I've just discovered that he is an Invisiba warrior and couldn't understand me. There is no satisfaction in that sort of work, comicbooks.com