Life — July 10, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LI I SESERS AT WuLLy [F you by gold are ever led ‘To seek a husband, ladies, Think of sad Prose ‘The Plutocrat of ine who wed Hades !—/'uck. Mr. S. 1. Ferry: in America. Mr. L. TRatx: Humph! A few more subway explosions will make it the deadliest !— Puch, Broadway and Fulton Street is the liveliest comer Some ten or twelve years ago an incident happened at Gibraltar which illustrates the practical views of a certain class of people. A subal- tern named O"Donohue was the officer of the guard at the El Guard, At this point of the well-known rock there is a sheer drop of ‘over one thousand feet. A lieutenant, who had taken too much cham- pagne ata mess dinner, walked over the rock and undoubtedly was dead fore he reached the rocks far below. When the officer of the guard, upon being relieved, made out the report of his guard, he made no men- tion of the fact. Indeed, when he came to fill in his report and reached the question, “Has anything extraordinary happened while you were officer of the guard ?” he wrote in the blank space reserved for the answer, ‘* Nothing.” FE 13 Of course he was summoned before Lord Napier, of Magdala, the Governor of Gibraltar. When he appeared, Lord Napier asked : “You were officer of the guard at Elphinstone Guard yesterday ?* “Twas, si “And this is your report ?"" It is, sir. vutenant M—— was killed by walking over the rock ?"" He was, sir.” You knew that when you made out your report ?”" “+I did, “That he was killed 2” * Yes, sir. “ And yet you said in your report that nothing extraordinary had hap- Il, Mr. O'Donohue," said Lord Napier, sternly, ‘don't you think it is extraordinary when a lieutenant walks over the rock, falls one thousand feet, and is killed ?” “+ Indeed, sir,” was the prompt reply, ‘I should think it was extraor- dinary if he had fallen that far and not been killed." Argonaut. Suk (nervously trying to break the ice): Canada ? He (quickly) : n, : Do you have reia—deer in Yes, love; but it sometimes snows.—/arvard Lam- Darling, will you be my wife? (who ts fired of his importunities): No! not He (triumphant): Hurrah! You will then, Two negatives make an affirmative.—Lampoon. HODGMANS A MACKINTOSHES FoR Ladies & Gentlemen Are-unequalled:for softness of fabric & Wearing Qualities Being farSupenor fo a: mem Similar ingle goods. prices and Sar es furnished ON application open RUBBER COMPANY, IANUFACTURERS, Broadway, cor Grand Street, NEWYORK, at W, 234 St, next door to sth Ave, Hotel. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES. OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. LADIES WHO VALUE A refined complexion must use Pozzoni's Powder. It produces a soft and beautiful in. CELEBRATED HATS, —AND— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Daniap Silk Umbrella, 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. a2d and a3d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. $27 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. SON HAIR. We will mail goods to re- liable parties throughout the United States for ap- ‘oval. The newest styles and best of goodsat lowest prices. Nomoney required until they are received. No obligation to keep goods if unsatisfactory ‘Send forcirculars. JOHN MEDINA, 463 Washingten Street, - Bestes, Maat MR. BANKER: So you wish to marry my daughter? What are your means ? Mk. Nervey: Mr. Banker, I must answer that question with another; what are yours ?— Harvard Lampoon. DOOS.—Natmums medicated Soar or washlag deateaye all irritating neccta, removes, GOgEy Sn ieaves, the an reabed "and happy. 1 soaps Usd bY all the lending Owsers In rte now ‘sold 1 Milford, Mekeron & ete Feats ok al Droggiat no CORONADO BEACH, | mean Ban Diego Co., lfernia. ABGOCK,, Ja, Manager theHOTEL DEL COMO. NADO, WRICHT & DITSON, LARGEST MAKERS OF FINE LAWN TENNIS GOODS ya cut forrsaes Lawn Ten- nedule, ‘contain Photo- pnttt Players, Tee on the Game, ete. By maul, ike. Bend for Catal 580 WASIIINGTON 8T., BosToN, MARR, FAMOUS LURAY INN LURAY, VA. G. K. MULLIN, Proprietor, FOR SALE. A complete set of Lire, not a copy of which has been folded, rolled or soiled, bound in half green Levant, gilttop. Each double age plate mounted on a guard. A per- ject set. Address 1.., Box 2st, Boston, Decoration Furniture Curtains 133 FIFTH AVENUE mew vorK comicbooks.com