Life, 1890-06-12 · page 3 of 20
Life — June 12, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page (Volume XV, Number 389) This page contains two satirical pieces: **"Ballad of a Blighted Being"** (bottom): A poem mocking a man who attempts to flirt with women but fails miserably. The speaker laments his romantic incompetence, noting that men "looked scared to death" when he tried courting, and he apparently lacked some quality ("St. Vitus dance") that would make him attractive. The satire targets male social awkwardness and failed seduction attempts. **"Governing the Whole Question"** (top right): A brief comic dialogue where Briggs asks an old man what he's doing for a cold, and receives the response "Coughing." This is simple wordplay humor—a literal, unhelpful answer to a medical question. Both pieces use gentle mockery of everyday social failures and misunderstandings typical of Life magazine's humor approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NUMBER 389. I practiced blushing till mamma (Who always fears the worst) With apoplexy in her mind, Forbade me lest I burst. I've simpered, bridled, tossed my head, Sighed, pouted, all in vain; Society with one accord Pronounces me insane, So nolens volens 1 resign My last despairing hope. It’s hard to teach an elephant To dance upon a rope— But if 1 patiently endure These prosy earthly days, Perhaps in heaven I shall have Some little witching ways! AL EW, { - COVERING THE WHOLE QUESTION. ‘EL Of. é : RIGGS: Say, old man, what are you doing for that ’ cold? ison, Griccs: Coughing. eet and c RR le Road levated BALLAD OF A BLIGHTED BEING. DON'T know why I shouldn't flirt Like other girls—and yet Somehow, whenever I attempt To dally or coquet My efforts seem to fill the world With wonder and amaze. O dear! I only wish I had Some little witching ways ! My sisters often used to try To put me on the track, And once I learnt to roll my eyes— A captivating knack— But all the men on whom I turned “JOUN, HAVE YOU SANDED THE SUGAR, AND WATERED THE That sudden sidelong glance seit: AND:OLASiEs 2" Looked scared to death, and asked me if “Yes, sir.” I had St. Vitus dance. * THEN YOU MAY COME INTO PRAYERS.” STON.