Life, 1890-05-01 · page 12 of 18
Life — May 1, 1890 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 260: Victorian-Era Satire This page contains several distinct satirical pieces typical of 19th-century *Life* magazine: **"Two Ideals of Heaven"**: A humorous poem contrasting Persian and Celtic versions of paradise—mocking both cultures' stereotyped pleasures (the Persian ideals being "black eyes and lemonade," the Celtic preferring "whisky"). **"On the Advantage of a Legal Training"**: A fable where an ape uses Latin legal principle ("Quod facit per alium, facit per se"—what one does through another, one does oneself) to manipulate a cat into retrieving chestnuts from fire. The satire mocks lawyers' use of technical phraseology to accomplish duplicitous ends. **"A Matter of Business"**: A clergyman confronts a divorcée about marrying for the fourth time, noting he performed each ceremony. She reveals she visited hoping for a "discount" on future marriages—satirizing both divorce and the commercialization of clergy services. **Robert G. Ingersoll portrait**: This celebrates the famous agnostic lawyer/speaker, sarcastically noting he's "unpopular at ministers' meetings" and used to frighten Christian children—mocking religious establishment hostility toward free-thought advocates.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
260 TWO IDEALS OF HEAVEN. HE Persian’s heaven is easily made. ‘Tis but black eyes and lemonade,” Sang Moore, without alluding to The more consistent home-made brew. The Celtic version of the skies, Requires but whisky and black eyes. “ ON THE ADVANTAGE OF A LEGAL TRAINING. “Te HERE was once an Ape, who had a Puck-like weakness for Chestnuts. One day, perceiving some Roasting in a Fire, he re- quested his Friend, the Cat, The Cat remarked that he would be dogged if He would burn his paws for the Anthropoid, and courteously suggested that he should pick them up himself. Whereupon, the Ape, who was learned in the Law, siezed his Friend firmly around the waist, and, reminding him ** Quod facit per alium, facit per se,” used the Cat's Paw to remove the coveted Chestnuts, which, when they were cool, he devoured at his leisure. This teaches us Not to sneer at a knowledge of the to hand them to him, Phraseology of the Law. A MATTER OF BUSINESS. Clergyman ; YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY AGAIN ! You SURPRISE ME. THIS WILL MAKE THE FOURTH HUSRAND, WILL tT NOT? Divorcee: YS; AND AS YOU PERFORMED THE EMONY EACH TIME, 1 CALLED TO SEE IF 1 COULDN'T MAKE. SOME ARRANGE- MENT WITH YOU ABOUT GETTING A DISCOUNT ON THE MARRIAGE rer. LIFE’S GALLERY OF BEAUTIES NO. 31. ROBERT G. INGERSOLL. HE subject of our illustration is not celebrated so much for the amount of hair on his head as for his unpopularity at ministers’ meetings. His name is also commonly used to scare Christian babies suffering from colic, Mr. Ingersoll took his beginnings in the beautiful city of Peoria, which has the good fortune to be situated in the same state—geographically—as Chicago. It is not known whether frequent visits to the latter city gave Mr. Ingersoll the idea that there is no Sheol except on earth. At all events he outgrew the State of Illinois and came to New York, where, after declining many invitations to enter the ministry, he hecame a leading lawyer and after-dinner speaker. In these capacities, as well as an Apostle of Cheer- fulness and a Genial Pagan, he is too well known to require any further description than that given in our realistic portrait. F the iron-skulled gentlemen who have charge of the Metro- politan Museum would throw open the doors of that institu- tion Sundays, they would perform a simple and obvious duty. Why should the laboring classes be shut out from such a Museum? Because they are poor and work hard during the week, shall art and history be a sealed book to them? This seems to be the opinion of the progressive and charitable gentle- men in charge of that collection. THE HAND OF THE AMATEUR. © GHEPARD is a self-made man, isn’t he ?” * It begins to look that way.” comicbooks.com