Life — March 20, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO A BALD MAN. ]F by your Aairs your sins should numbered be, Angels in heaven were not more pure than thee. —Pick Me Up. First ANARCHIST: Have a beer? SECOND ANARCHIST: No. First ANARCHIST: You're not sick, are you? SECOND ANARCHIST: No, but they tell me that beer works.— N.Y, Sun, “ WueEn did George Washington die?” asked a teacher in a New York public school. ‘Is he dead ?” was the astonished reply. ‘* Why, it was not more than a week ago that we were celebrating his birthday, and now heis dead. It's a bad yearonchildren. I reckon his folks let him eat something that didn't agree with him, or maybe the grip got away with him."— Texas Siftings. WESTERN MERCHANT: Your expenses were very high on your last trip, Mr. Mendall. His DrumMer: Yes, sir; blamed high. I got snowed in with a poker game at Pike's Peak and had to stay a week.— /udge. 178 “Ow what grounds do you say that you are entitled to receive the workmen's decorative badge ?” “Fifty years concierge, Monsieur le Ministre, and never any words with the lodgers.” “You will have to bring a few to give their evidence.” za;impossible. Tam the concierge at a cemetery !"—La Vie Fop- ulatre, “I wit take a chance in the pincashion if you give mea kiss right here ;" said Shippen Clarke to the pretty girl who was teasing him at the fair.‘ Will you?” “No,” she replied; * but I'll give you ten for ten chances.” As this was too much for poor Shippen's pocket-book, he jumped for the door and pulled the door in after him.— Puck, Nonerte: I am sure Miss Quaker is really in love with young Schuyler. ToinetTE: Why? NonetTe: She never lets him take her to Delmonico's— Smut, Gray & Co.'s Monthly. Lawyer : Do you understand the nature of an oath ? CoLoxep Witness: Sah? Lawyer: Do you understand the nature of an oath, I say? Cotoren WitNess (impressively): Sah, I have druy mules in Louisianny for nigh onto forty year.— Somerville Jour nal. Six Chicago clergymen (there are clergymen in Chicago) have been giving their ideas of what heaven is like, and not one of them likened it to Chicago.— Minneapolis Times. Are you in need of a Waterproof Coat ? If so, get one of HopGMman’s A little accident which has occurred millions of times, and which happens now and thea in every house. MACKINTOSHES, which are perfect in every detail. HODGMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS, ‘Broadway, cor.“Grand St., New York. CELEBRATED HATS, a= Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 278 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 224 & a3d Sts. and 18 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. 9t4 Chestnut St., Phila. Sa Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. THE ANTI-KUM-OFF ‘Wisdow Ghade Fastecers prevent all euch accliects, 1 LIKE MY WIFE TO ‘Use Pozzoni's Complexion Powder because it Crosse & Blackwell’s FRESH FRUIT JAMS improves her looks and is as fragrant as violets. a. = onal — DECORATION ROUX WLP a Currams CO. tW-Agents and House Canvaseers Wanted In every city und town where the ehade makers are not supplied. Thousands of families buy them for suades already up, For outfit and terms address ‘Tur Patrnaon NOVELTY MANUPACTUKING Comrany, Sole Manufacturer, Paterson, N. J. Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES, OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. 133 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK IF all that is said about Chicago's pedals be true she ought to be able to foot the Fair IIs ea joston Rulleti DO YOU CORRESPOND? If you desire to be in good form in your correspondence, use only the fine writing papers manufactured by the Whiting Paper Company, of Holyoke. You will find them to be the best for all the uses of polite society. Sold by all dealers, New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane St. comicbooks.com