Life — March 6, 1890 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: AT §c}q¢o! hy LL T SISSORS AT NVLLy PARADOXICAL. [7 is strange, ‘though true, Of a man who bets, That the higher he flies The lower he gets.—Detrott Critic. OLb Scrocos (censuring his office boy for lack of thrift): Why, boy, it is an old saying that ‘A fool and his money are soon parted,” Orrice Boy: Then, please, how did you become wealthy 2+ Kearney Enterprise, “‘ How did the colonists manage to exist the first winter after their arrival?" asked the teacher of the class in American history. ‘* The Indians took hair of them,” replied Freddy Fangle.—Omaha Topics. THEATRE MANAGER: You never have had any experience at ¢ell- ing tickets or counting money, and yet you apply for the position as ticket seller. APPLICANT: Yes, sir; but I'm the most disobliging and discour- teous man in town. THEATRE MANAGER: Good! The box-office is waiting for you, —Denver Why ? Mr. Morcentuau: I vas afrait I vas n't orthodox to-day, Leah. Mrs, MOKGENTHAU : Vat you haf done, Solomon ? MR. MorcENTHAU: Vull, I had to haf a business talk mit Mr, Brown, und I oxpected to sell him dot job lot of combs at 79 per cent. profit." He asked me to go to lunch mit him, Mrs. MORGENTHAU: How did you say you vas not orthodox, Solomon ? MR. MORGENTHAU: Vull, to‘disarm his suspicions, I ordered roast pork.—America. “You will notice,” said the manager of the company, as he stepped in front of the curtain, **that the programme says that seven years are supposed to elapse between the second and third acts. In this case there will be no supposition about it, The sheriff of this county has just taken session of the stage, and I think it will be about seven years before we can get the matter settled. . The au- dience is now dismissed."—Drake's Magazine. “Wuy, Henry,” exclaimed one man to another, ‘how bald you are getting!" “Yes,” answered Henry, absent-mindedly, but she's gone on a visit to her mother now."—Capital Chips. Harry : Dearest Amelia, can you, will you give me your hand ? AMeLin (looking at Harry's grimy fingers): 1 don't know, Harry—no, I'd better not, It would be $0 hard for you to keep it clean, you know, I think you have rather more hands already than you can attend to.—Boston Transcript. MINNEAPOLIS is not so religious as St. Paul. the St. Paul who is dead.) (P S.—We mean Are you in need of a Waterproof Coat ? If so, get one of HopGMan’s MACKINTOSHES, which are perfect in every detail. HODGMAN RUBBER COMPANY, aN Ladies’ Round And The Dunl and 18 Broadway, CELEBRATED HATS, Stanley’s Own Book Henry M. Stanley is now at Cairo, busily engaged in writing the only authentic story of bis expedition to find Emin Pasha. It will be published at an early day by Charles Scribner's Sons, who: control all American rights. This is the only book on Silk Umbrella. bet. aad & agd Sta. near Cortlandt St, MANUFACTURERS, Broadway, cor. Grand St., New York. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES, OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestaut St., Phila. AT Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889, THE ONLY COMPLEXION Powder in the world that is without vulgarity, ithout injury to the user, and without doubt a beautifier, is Pozzoni’s. DECORATION Furniture Curtains ROUX a co. 133 FIFTH AVE. jw YORK ve Jee is King of carriages. noiselessness within. Every cheap Brough- am makes a rumble, which in a closed car- riage is intolerable. the subject that will be written by Mr. Stanley himself, or with bis con- sent or authority. Remember that STANLEY'S OWN_BOOK WILL BEAR ON THE TITLE PAGE THE IMPRINT OF CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS, and that it is the only one in which be will have any personal interest. It will be in two volumes of about 500 pages each, well provided with maps, and amply illustrated from Mr. Stanley's own photographs and sketches. It will be sold only by subscription. Agents wanted everywhere. CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS, 743 and 745 Broadway, New York. Its first charm is Conversation then becomes impossible. Rattling windows are another evil. We prevent them by our patent. We use imported materials and all fitments are of the finest quality. Fashion suggests horn trimmings. The Ash Tray is removable, We introduce Ferd. F. French & Co. a new Coachman’s Signal. Stable Shot: (anrran) ters are now added. The position of the is Glock has been changed’ Many other 14 t© 24 SUDRURY STREET, Boston. new improvements. Three Buildings of Six Stories. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. comicbooks.com