Life — February 20, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ce Oe) oe De SPISS°RS AT NVLLy Tue conductor of a Chicago cable car approached a hard-visaged woman and asked for her fare. **Go on with you now ; I've paid you once,” said the woman, “Do, if you dare.” The conductor stopped the car and put her off. Rather a hard thing to do,” said one of the passengers, ** but it served her right, I toneoae Pe Oh," the conductor smilingly answered, ‘it wasn’t hard for me to do, for it isn’t often that I have a chance to get even with her. She is my wife."—Ex. A TRAVELER, calling at a hotel, left his umbrella in the stand with a label attached, on which was written in bold characters: “This umbrella belongs to a man who can deal a blow with his fist of the force of 250 pounds. Coming back in ten minutes.” Having accomplished his errand, he went to look for his umbrella, 113 Miss Hurrvup: Ah! George, you cannot tell what troubles a girl has who is receiving the attentions of a gentleman. Mx, HoLorr : Troubles, Carrie? Of what nature, pray ? Miss H.: Well, one’s little brothers are always making fun of one, and one’s relatives are always saying, ‘ When is it to come off ?" as if marriage were a prize fight. But that is not the worst. ‘There's the inquisitiveness of one’s parents, They want to know everything. ‘There's pa, now ; he is constantly asking such questions as, ‘+ Carrie, what are Mr. Holdoff’s intentions? What does he call upon you so regularly for, and stay so late when he does call?" And he some- times looks so mad when he asks these questions that I actually tremble, Mr. H.: And what answer do you make to his questions, Carrie, dearest ? Miss H,: I can't make any answer at all, for you see, you haven't said anything to me and—and—of course 1—1— ‘Then Mr. Holdoff whispered something in Carrie's ear, and next time her father questions her she will be ready with a-satisfactory reply. Miss Summit (@¢ the da//): Pardon me, Mr. Dashaway, but I believe that is my glove protruding from your pocket. Dastiaway (confusedy): Why, I wonder how it got there. Miss SUMMIT (severe/y): [ haven't the least idea. I remember giving it to Mr, Cleverton at the last ball I attended. Dasnaway (a few moments later, to Cleverton): Look here old but found in its place a card inscribed as follows to a man who can run fifteen miles an hour. Elbeuvien, Isn't coming back."— “This card belongs man, when you hire another dress suit don't leave anything in the pockets. Remember that we trade at the same place.—Clothter and Furnisher, HODGMAN’S MACKINTOSHES (Or Double-Texture Waterproof Garments) ror Ladies ana Gentlemen Are “ Unequaled for softness of fabric and for wearing qualities.” Being far superior to any similar imported goods. Prices and samples furnished on application to HODGMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS, Broadway, cor. Grand Street, NEW YORK. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES, OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. “LIFE” BINDER. CHEAP, STRONG AND DURABLE, ‘Will hold 26 Numbers, Mailed toany part of the United States for $1.00, postage free. Address: OFFICE OF “LIFE,” 28 W, a3d Street, New York. PARIS EXPOSITION, 1889, THE HIGHEST AWARD (THE GOLD MEDAL) For Fors and For Garments NLAP © (0 Ae. GOrvEG=TED. CELEBRATED HATS, ap. Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. s1d & 23¢ Sts. and 18 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. Sue (laughingly): Why are you looking so intently into my eyes? Are you looking for the mote ? HE (seriously): No; for the beam. Then she beamed.—Lawr ence American. Decoration Furnitures ROUX si Currai CO. 133 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK Dory: Why do you call your rich old uncle ‘* Kind Words" ? Gaztey: Because he never dies.—Bing- hamton Quiver. ALL STYLES. MODERATE PRICES, TO RENT, INST/LMENTS, AND EXCHANGED, 5th Ave.,cor. 16th St., N.Y. WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, 11 East 19th St., sear Broadway. comicbooks.com