Life — January 23, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: nT SCISSORS AT NLL M.D. YOUNG DOSER sits like patience’ self upon a monument. His thoughts are all on medicines, on pills and plasters bent ; But well he knows the future holds the hour will make him quits— What time the monument in turn upon his patients sits. — Wilson K. Welsh, in Philadelphia Jester. “*T SHALL assuredly cut that beast Scaphleigh dead the vewy next time I have a chance !" exclaimed little Mr. De Byrd with a lady-like flirt of his hand and twist of his sweet head, as he flounced out of the state department. “Why, Lady, what has he been doing now, to make you so vewy angwy ?*’ tenderly inquired his friend Simpersnip, *«Why the brute was in the elevatah, and when I entahed he took off his hat and held it in his hand until I gotoff. Weally, 1 won't en- duah his insults much longah."— The Lounger. Mistress (Aind/y): Jane, I hear you have been seen in the park with my husband. Jane (defiantly) : Yes, ma'am; I have. Mistress (stil! more kindly): Well, Jane, you are a good girl, and I dislike to lose you, but I cannot have any one about the house who keeps bad company.— New Haven Nulmegs. 55 A PIANIST recently spent the evening at the house of a lady. The company was agreeable and he staid somewhat late. As he rose to take his departure, the lady said: " Pray don't go yet, Mr. Jones; I want you to play something for me.” ** Oh, you must excuse me to- night ; it is very late, and I should disturb the neighbors.” ‘Never mind the neighbors,” answered the young lady, quickly, "they poi- soned our dog yesterday."—Ex, FRAZIER ASHURST, '87, of Pennsylvania, was the first man who ever combined the tender passion and the game of football. It was in the fall of °87, on Princeton's grounds. Ashurst had spent the summer at Bar Harbor and had been given a chain bangle By some girl there, with a padlock attached, which the girl presumably locked on his wrist, He played end-rush on the Philadelphia eleven, and, in the first half, the man opposite to him complained that Ashurst had cuthim with a ring. The man was laughed at and silenced, but a little while later he showed a scar on the side of his face which decid- ed the umpire to investigate. He examined Ashurst's hands and found the bangle. He told him to take it off, which Ashurst promptly refused to do. They called the referee, who dived down into his ket for his book of rules, but the rules had nothing to say about ingles. He told Ashurst he must take it off or leave the field. Ashurst said the referee had no right to make him follow either alter- native. He had promised to wear it as long as he lived and he would, The referee finally ruled that bangles came under the head of spikes ‘on the shoes” and were unpermissible adjuncts to football costume. Sooner than stop playing, Ashurst borrowed a knife and filed off the gold chain, to the grinning delight of the teams: and the disgust of the girls on the stand.— Argonaut. HODGMAN'S — MACKINTOSHES (Or Double-Texture Waterproof Garments) oR Ladies ana Gentlemen “ Unequaled for softness of fabric and for wearing qualities.” Being far superior to any similar imported goods. Prices and samples furnished on application to HODGMAN RUBBER COMPANY, MANUFACTURERS, Broadway, cor. Grand Street, YORK. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES, OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. Babibell. you most like?” she said, through hi over the coai: ROUX a CO. JJextap X Co err ee ea convaianraD. CELEBRATED HATS, Ax Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet, a2d & a3d Sts, and 18: Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. $8 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889, “ Have you a taste for p PARIS EXPOSITION, 1889, THE HIGHEST AWARD (THE GOLD MEDAL) For Furs and Fur Garments or4 Chestnut St., Phila, ry?" asked Miss *s Indeed, I have,” replied the great editor, for it was he, ‘And what kind do asked, ‘* Broiled,” he is teeth; ‘broiled to a crisp Burdette, in Brooklyn Eagle. DECORATION Furniture Currtaine (33 FIFTH AVE. wew vnev WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, 11 East 19th St., vear Broadway. SCHE oe" PIANOS .2:2 GEO. MATHER’S SONS ALL STYLES. MODERATE PRICES, TO RENT, INST/LMENTS, AND EXCHANGED, RI NTI N G | N K 5th Ave.,cor.16th St., N.Y. 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. Downytir: Aw—can I smoke, Miss Prim ? Miss Prim (cf Boston): 1 don't know. Have you ever tried?—Keading Town Topics. comicbooks.com