Life — January 16, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Iv one of Chicago's public institutions is a bright-eyed, witty Irish widow who loves a joke as only the people from her country do. In the same institution is a stolid German professor who rather admires the pretty widow. The two often meet and indulge in pleasant chats, ‘The German professor is married and is the lord and master of a happy family. The other day he chanced to meet the Irish widow and they entered into conversation, in the course of which the witty widow rowed the professor's ear and said: ‘* Professor, I don't moind telling you, as you are a married man, but I have a cork leg.” The professor was surprised, He said he never would have thought it, as he had never noticed any limp. _** No," said the widow ; “and I can dance with the best of them.” The professor marveled greatly and said he did not see how she could so successfully disguise it, “Well,” she said, ‘*1°ll tell you, professor. I have a cork leg because Iwas born in Cork." This remark was made last Thursday. The German professor thought it over until Monday last, and then he laughed. — Argonaut. At TENDERFOOT (entering saloon at. Wayback): 1—1 beg pardon, but will you be s6 kind as to let me havea —a glass of — of water? Ferocious Cownoy : See here, bartender, nobedy drinks water in this ‘ere saloon while I’m here, d'ye hear? ‘You hand that young feller a glass of whisky. TENDERFOOT (trembling) : Whisky ? Cownoy : Yes, whisky there it is; it's my treat; you drink that down slick an’ clean er say y’r prayers, an’ be quick about it, TENDERFOOT (a/ter drinking and reaching the door): Thank you, Whisky is what I wanted, but I knew if I asked for water Some of you cowboys would be fools enough to order whisky and pay for it. Ta, ta.— Boston Beacon. ‘ FAREWELL, dearest,” she sighed, as she lay against the lapel of his double-breasted coat, ‘and, George, you may kiss me once, on my forehead, ere you go.” “* Thanks, Angelina," thoughtfully mur- mured the young aan, ‘but the last time I kissed a girl on the fore- head I got a bang in the mouth.” A moment later he left the house looking as if he had been eating marshmallows.— Harvard Lampoon. First Bookworm: Speaking of the universality of genius as found in individuals, I may mention Julius Casar. SECOND BooKwor (a Shakespearean crank) : Yes, yes, a great man undoubtedly ; yet there was one peculiarity about him that 1 cannot understand. Novice (Ais first bal!) : What shall I talk to my partner about ? Veterans: Her beauty. Novice: But suppose she has none? VeTERAN: Then about the ugliness of the other girls.— Boston Budget. First Bookworm : What was it? Secoxp Bookworm: Why, the man had no conception of the greatness of Shakespeare, and in all his writings he never once refers to the bard of Avon.— America, PARIS BXPOSITION, 1889, THE HIGHEST AWARD (THE COLD MEDAL) For Furs and Fur Garments Have you used Packer’s Tar Soap for the Complexion, or Shampooing ? Its use is a luxury; imparting clear, soft, smooth, healthful skin and vigorous hair; cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases ; prevents Chapping. 25 cents. All Druggists. Gund PERFUMES EDENIA and oya Lily. Apr Co algal, convniczran. CELEBRATED HATS, —AnD— Ladies’ Kound Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. sad & 23d Sts. and 18 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. SB Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. We buy and sell bills of Ex- Letters ange %oricd mate cable transfers of money to Europe. f Australia, and the West In- oO dies; also’ make Collections gad | eve Commercial and ‘Traveli ilable in Credit. ir; parts of the world. Brown Brothers & Co., Bankers, 59 Wall St. Po ee uy DECORATION Furniture Curraine WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, 11 East 19th St., rear Broadw 133 FIFTH AVE. wEW VORK ARE YOU GOING TO CORRESPOND? Use only the ‘‘ Whiting Standard Papers” You will find them to fill all the requirements of polite society. Every dealer in the United States can supply you with the fine cor- respondence papers made exclusively by the Whiting Paper Company, of Holyoke, Mass. Use no others. New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane Street. comicbooks.com