Life, 1890-01-02 · page 12 of 16
Life — January 2, 1890 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page Analysis (circa 1890) This page satirizes **New Year's resolutions** and courtship customs of the 1890s. The main story mocks the young man who actually *keeps* his eight resolutions (swearing off drinking, smoking, gambling, borrowing money, etc.) after New Year's Day. The satire is that his virtue makes him so unnaturally austere he becomes suitable only for a "dime museum" or as a reform candidate for President—suggesting that keeping resolutions is so absurd it's monstrous. The side cartoons continue the theme: - A suitor asking her father for marriage consent receives $5,000 to start housekeeping—satirizing both the mercenary nature of marriage and the father's obvious desire to be rid of his daughter - A comic poem about courtship where the speaker simply "married her" instead of writing romantic verses—mocking sentimental love poetry as unnecessary The bottom cartoon about a "wine-colored overcoat" jokes that "wine" refers to pawn shop ("hock"), a common fate for clothes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- ALL ON ACCOUNT OF THE NEW YEAR. “TEBE was a certain young man who lived in the great city of New York about the first of January, A.D. 1890, This young man was afflicted with a case of acute conscience on the morrow following the preceding Christmas, and while in the delirium of the dread disease sat down at his desk and penned, after the usual manner of young men about this time of year, the following good resolutions, which he determined to keep: 1. I will cease drinking. 2. I will cease smoking. 3. I will cease loafing around town. 4. I will cease flirting. 5. I will cease borrowing money. 6. I will cease gambling. 7. I will endeavor to pay my debts as‘rapidly as possible, 8. I will endeavor to be at all times a Christian gentleman, Now, gentle reader, my experience has shown me that you are already beginning to smile at the Story of this poor young man, because you immediately jump to the conclu- sion that on the following day, to wit, January 2, A.D. 1890, he broke in detail these good resolutions. If such were the case, however, this sketch would not be a humorous oney. as it would lack the element of surprise, without which the humorous conception ceases to be, I therefore tell you that, on the contrary, the young man has kept these good resolutions and up to the time of writing is still keeping them, You will at once perceive that the sketch becomes humorous. I might add that on and after January 1 this young man is open to an engagement with a first-class dime museum. He also expects in the near future to become a reform candidate for President. That he will be an angel in the sweet bye and bye is a matter of course. Tom Hall, The Young Man (as he wipes the perspiration from his brow): Tuis ASKING THE PARENTS’ CONSENT 13 A TRYING ORDEAL, IF ARABELLA WASN'T SUCH A PRIZE, AND I DIDN'T LOVE HER SO DEARLY, I WwoUuLD NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO ATTEMPT IT, Arabelta's Father: WAST TO MARRY ARA- BELLA? YES, YOUNG MAN, yes, TAKE HER, AND MAY THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON YoU, SIT DOWN AND I'LL WRITE YOU OUT A CHECK FOR $5,000 TO START HOUSEKEEPING ON, OMNIA VINCIT AMOR! HEN I with Phyllis fell in love, Did I the realms of verse invade, Or with guitar ‘neath moon above Then serenade? Oh, no! A simple way I learned That did the Muse's sway deter, And all such fancies overturned— “OH, Maud, PA'S GOING TO TREAT HIMSELF TO A WINE-COLORED OVERCOAT For Curistmas!" “How DO YOU KNOW IT WILL BE WINE COLORED?” ‘ “ec T HEARD HIM TELL MOTHER THAT IT HAD BEEN IN HOCK FOR TEN I married her! HEL W. HE volcano of Iztaccihuatl is extinct, MONTHS,” but its name isn’t. comicbooks.com