Life — December 26, 1889 — page 46: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘- LIFE: THE FUNNY MAN'S DREAM. HE funny ma, one night did sleep and dream A dream of dreadful portent. It did seem His soul was cast into the deeps of hell. Long time the devil pondered, nor could tell What punishment would fit that life of crime. At last he cried ne folk whom in thy time Thou hast maligned and slandered with thy pen Shall have the vengeanc: they elect." And then He waved his hand. Whereat a ghastly crew, Screaming with fiendish malice, came in view. And first, with lurid looks, the mother-in-law Stung him with bitter nothings known as jaw ; ‘The drummer tried a more insidious plan, And told such tales as only a drummer can ; ‘The haysced talked of craps" and city sights ; The sport, of racing and of barroom nights ; The agent sold him all his latest books ; Biddy, the gyurl, and Mary, best of cooks, Gave him an ample dose of Irish sass, “TL SAY, MISTER, WHAT WOULD YOU ADVISE ME TO DO WITH Mid cultured converse from a Boston lass ; ALL THIS CENT YOU'VE GIVEN ME? SHALL I BUY A TURKEY OR The school-miss filled his mouth with chewing gum, A CHRISTMAS PUDDIN’ WITH IT?" A loafer washed it down with doubtful rum ; — = The shceney tried on‘ glothes” till he was tired ; NO USE TRYING. Theltrate father useilitheibooe iatiared IRST ROBBER : Goin’ to rob Bronson’s house to-night? The courting dude —who, in his, turn did rain reer min to Blows on that jester’s form from hugest cane ; . SECOND. Romper: Naw: First Rowser: Why not? And then, most dread of all! loomed Sullivan , . To punch the head of that unhappy man. Second Rosser: Ain't nothin’ there. Bronson paid his gas bill yesterday. So all belabored the poor man of joke Until the victim of their malice broke ~~ ; | ; Into a cry of “chestnuts !"—and awoke. AY GOULD'S book will be full of quotations, gilt-edged, Wm, S. Walsh, wide margin, and full bound in lamb. ROOM FOR ONE MORE. comicbooks.com