Life, 1889-12-26 · page 42 of 55
Life — December 26, 1889 — page 42: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces typical of Life magazine's humor: **"Etiquette"** mocks excessive politeness—a man sends regrets for a ball he wasn't invited to, treating the non-invitation as an offense requiring formal apology. **"Precise"** plays on linguistic pedantry: a clerk distinguishes between goods that won't wash versus goods that "may be washed" (technically correct but meaningless). **The Poe reference** jokes darkly about Edgar Allan Poe's death increasing his autographs' value, suggesting he'd be financially better off dead than alive signing his name. **"Explanation"** is a humorous parent-child dialogue where a boy argues that since humans are made of dust, the dirt on him is simply dust "coming through" his body—absurdist logic. The illustrated narratives show a youth encountering alligators on the Mississippi River and a street fight involving "Jake" and "Scales." These pieces exemplify Life's style: brief comic scenarios exploiting social pretension, logical absurdities, and wordplay rather than topical political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A youth from the land of pork and beans Once started off for New Orleans. At last on Mississippi's brink He sits on a log to rest and think And take a little calm repose, When, presto, Jimminy! up it goes! - LIFE: ETIQUETTE. es E is oppressively polite.” “Why, when I gave my ball last winter I never invited him and he sent a card of regrets.” “ Regrets for what?” “That I hadn’t invited him,” PRECISE. RS. PANCAKE (én dry-goods store): Will these goods wash ? CLERK: No, ma'am; but they may be washed. se wre reported yesterday's service at St. Peter's?” “ Bronson.” “ The dramatic critic?” “Well, that accounts for it. He says that in the absence of the Rev, Dr. Dinwiddie his understudy, the Rev. Mr. Harkins, delivered the sermon.” £€ 7 T'S too bad, too bad!" “What?” “That poor Poe is dead. His autographs sell for five and ten dollars apiece now, If he were living he could make his fortune doing nothing else but sign his name.” EXPLANATION. Mother: FREDDIE, YOUR FACE AND HANDS ARE NEVER CLEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHERE ALL THE DIRT COMES FROM, Freddie: MOTWER, DIDN'T YOU SAY WE WERE MADE OF pusT? Mother: YES; WELL? Freddie; WELL, THIS DIRT MUST BE THE DUST COM- ING THROUGH, Of Jersey juice Jake grasps a bottle And hurls it down his opponent's throttle, Which somewhat variegates the fight By making Scales so blazing tight That Jake dismisses every fear And rashly ventures just too near, comicbooks.com