Life — December 26, 1889 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EXPLAINED. O what do you attribute your success in life?” asked the economist. “To my failure,” replied the ex-merchant. OT a long letter from your girl, I see.” “No; only half a sheet.” “Why, it looks like a dozen at least. What are all those sheets in your hand?” “Postscript.” S the old farmer stood gazing at the elevator as it went up, he exclaimed: “Well, by gosh! I've seen one or two balloons at the fair, but I never see one work that way afore!" N order to appreciate being kissed a girl should be old enough to know better. Ay cacge THE PROPORTION. “Papa, CAN'T | HAVE A LOOK? IT WILL ONLY BE A NICKEL EVEN A HALF MOON TO-NIGHT.”” IN A CONSERVATORY. AFTER A DAY He (difidently) : OT since last year! So glad again to find you! I've often thought of—this sweet place—and you. I wish I dare of your last words remind you— Sur. (languidly): Yes, most boys do! He. (excitedly) : “Auf Wiedersehen,” ere caprice bereft me. “Boy! Aye, in years, but firm in manhood set ; I would have banked on hopes your deep eyes left me. SHE (calmly); Most fools bet! He (reproach/ully) How cruel! I have marked your every motion, Have caught your least light smile all night, I think Drank in each glance and grace with fresh devotion— Sue (demurely): Yes, most men drink! He (bitterly): Sweetheart, for one brief moment let me fold you, And on your fair, false lips a last kiss set ; And then—these eyes shall nevermore behold you— Sue (softly): Don't go—just yet! THE NEW MOON. John Moran A NOCTURNE IN SILVER AND WATERMELON, comicbooks.com