Life — December 26, 1889 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Don’'T You THINK TUXEDO 1S A PERFECT GARDEN OF EDEN, Mr. THUMPKINS?” “Yes, Miss ASTORBOND; BUT A TRIFLE MORE DRESSY, DON- CHER THINK?” A SALUTATION OF THE PERIOD. IRST CLUBMAN (aged seventeen): Hele lo, me boy! SECOND CLUBMAN (aged sixty): Hello, old man! SUDDEN REMOVAL. TRANGER (én. Kan- sas): Can you direct me to the county seat? Mr. DucGur (sadly): No-o, I can’t, stranger. There was a cyclone here last week, and I ain't heard yit whar the county seat went to, OG fanciers tell us that ocean greyhounds come higher than skye ter- riers. Some men get appointed to office and others get disappointed. > LIFE - OVERHEARD IN THE KITCHEN. 6c HAT did you wear last night?” asked the celery. “A lovely mayonnaise,” replied the lettuce. “ And you?” “T never was so mortified in my life; 1 wasn’t dressed at all,” said the celery; and the beet blushed. A LONDON writer, in commenting on the condition of the modern drama, says it runs sorely into extremes and appears to know no mean between a gloomy tale of crime or of vice, with Scotland Yard, either expressed or understood, for its deus ex machind, and the athletic and “ Bessie, WHAT Does ‘I, H. S.’ MEAN?" “WHY, THAT'S THE RICH FOLKS’ WAY OF GETTING SANTY CLAUS TO STOP AT THEIR HOUSES; IT MEANS ‘T HAVE STOCKING even acrobatic humors of farcical comedy. The his- torian of a future age who attempts to form a concep- tion of us from a perusal of our contemporary drama would imagine that our knowledge of the humors of life was confined to chasing each other in and out of doors and windows, to con- cealment in silly and impos- sible hiding-places, and gen- erally to a line of conduct which any average public- school boy would consider beneath him as childish and absurd, E SMYTHE (¢0 aged colored brother): Good morning, uncle! AGED COLORED BROTH- ER (who objects to familiar- tty on short acquaintance): 1 ain't yo’ uncle. DE SMYTHE (angered): Well, you're a d—d old fool, anyhow! HECKSare much usedin breach-of-promise suits. ERY much in need— The letter ¢. A STUDY IN EVOLUTION. comicbooks.com