Life — December 26, 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE AT SEIGRS, AT WiLL THE RECONCILIATION. He: You passed me by nor nodded e’en, my sweet, And ever since that day I've moped and pined. SHE: Ah, lover mine, when on the bustling street, I'saw thee not! Thou knowest Love is blind. John Kendrick Bangs, in Cincinnaté Chic. OWNER OF RACEHORSE (looking closely at scales) : you area trifle over weight. Can't you lighten yourself a little ? WiLtiams (“he jockey): Got on my lightest suit, sir. Ain't ett a bite to-day, and ‘ave just trimmed my finger nails, Owner: Well, go and get shaved.— Zit Bits, Williams, SoTHERN once was playing Lord Dundreary”” in a small town whose regular playgoers plumed themselves on their imperturbable demeanor in the theatre, A joker who lived in that town had just returned from New York and gravely put in circulation a hint that it was extremely unfashionable to laugh at comedians. The hint ** took.” Sothern played the first act ina frigid atmosphere. He could not understand it, but he called the company together before the second act and implored them to “pitch in and wake ‘em up." They did their utmost, but without perceptible result. Utterly beaten, the great laugh-maker disconsolately dived into the dressing-room. Presently the manager of the house joined him. “Shake! Ned, old boy,” he exclaimed, ‘You're doin’ great. Got ‘em sure. Never seen a more delighted ordience.” “ What!" was the comedian's dazed response. ‘*' Delighted’ be blowed! They haven't cracked a smile.” “Laughed, sir!” replied the manager. ‘I should hope not. ‘There was one man that snickered, and we bounced him out afore he knowed what ailed him."— Ex. Farmer's Wire: L must go home now, ma’am; we're very busy to-day ; we're going to kill an ox. ScnooussTREss: What, a whole ox at once ?— Le Temps, MorMo Boy (:ehose father has many wives): nose again and I'll tell my ma. Gestite Boy: Which of your ma’s are you goin’ to tell ?— Texas Siftings. Sue: What a low-cut dress that girl has on, and what an ugly neck she has! He: Yes. ow death ? “It was the funniest death I ever saw,” replied the doctor.— You hit me in the It is certainly open to criticism.— Lancaster Life. ., Doctor,” said the tragedian, " what did you think of my Detroit Critic. A Renewable Term Policy IN THE PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, HOME OFFICE, Equitable Building, No. 120 Broadway, Is the safest, least expensive and fairest contract of life insurance in the market. One-half the rates usually charged. SHEPPARD HOMANS, President and Actuary. WM, E. STEVENS, Becretary, Send for Prospectus or call in person. i Pp Scr S20 ALL STYLES, MODERATE PRICES, TO RENT, INST/LMENTS, AND EXCHANGED, 5th Ave.,cor. 16th St., N.Y. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. SOLID Wire CROCKERY WASH Tl TUBS* Sh. SEND FOR Price List —~ ILLUSTRATED. CELEBRATED HATS, —axp— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 23d Sts, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. _gt4 Chestout St., Phila, $8-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. ALY'8 THEATRE. cisely. Orchestra, $1-507, Dress Circle, $1 ; Second Balcony, soc. Every Night at 8. ' Stiakespeare's Happiest. Comedy, a KS uke” “AS YOU ¥en * Like | BRILLIANTLY PRODUCED. MATINGES WED. AND SAT, ry night at 8 pre ADVERTISERS should not make thei for 1890 before_exar new monthly for Teachers, Studi Parents, the “COLLEGE D SCHOOL Utica, N here is nothing like it. Specimen on application, HONETIC SHORTHAND-—Exercises cor- rected for Students who wish to study at home. Send two cents in stamps for engraved Synop- is, and mention this journal. W. W. P Osgoodby, iblisher, Rochester, PARIS EXPOSITION, 1889, HE HIGHEST AWARD (THE GOLD MEDAL) For Furs and im Garments WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, 11 East 19th St., vear Broadway. DO YOU CORRESPOND? If you desire to be in good form in your correspondence, use only the fine writing papers manufactured by the Whiting Paper Company, of Holyoke. best for all the uses of polite society. You will find them to be the Sold by all dealers, New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane St. comicbooks. com