Life, 1889-11-21 · page 8 of 20
Life — November 21, 1889 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Hard Lines" Page Analysis This page from *Life* magazine contains humorous complaint letters from readers ("Hard Lines") addressed to the publication's "Dear Mesdames Muses of Helicon Hill." **The cartoons** illustrate contrasting comedy styles: "Two Schools of Comedy—The Old and the New" shows a traditional gentleman versus a flamboyant performer. The lower cartoon, "Easily Decided," depicts a doctor's visit where a patient asks what ailment he has; the physician responds he cannot tell until seeing what the patient looks like in the smallpox, suggesting diagnosis depends on visual inspection. **The letters** contain witty complaints from readers, creditors, and performers about unpaid bills and business disputes with the magazine. One references Russell Harrison (likely the President's son), noting Barnum's show is "the biggest thing in England now." The page exemplifies *Life*'s satirical humor through reader complaints and visual gags about contemporary life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TWO SCHOOLS OF COMEDY. THE OLD AND THE NEW, WHEN a woman asks for some pin money does she mean she will only needle little? EASILY DECIDED. Patient; Wiat Mave L Got, DocToR ? Young Physician: 1 CAN'T TELL EXACTLY WHETHER IT 18 RMEUMATISM OR SMALLPOX, BUT I'VE DEEN CALLED IN TO SEE A MAN WITH THE SMALLPOX, AND WHEN I SEE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE I'LL COME BACK AND TELL you. HARD LINES, 1 Y Deak MesDAMEs Muses oF Heticon HILL: Please fill out this order and send me the bil Superfine frenzy, a gallon, in tin— Last lot you sent was a little too thin— Gallon of fire, the very best brand, Ditto of sentiment, mellow and bland: Little hyperbole, very small bit, Two airy nothings, a scruple of wit; Grain of good sense—don't make it too hard— String of ideas—about half a yard; Few flowers of speech, fresh, dewy and sweet; Some rollicking meter, say eight or ten feet. Send safely and soon by the Zephyr Express, And look for your pay to fees “” A. BARD, In Distress. A. Barb, nm In Distress: Permit us to say The firm of The Muses is onto your lay. Unless you cash up for the previous bill You get no more joblots from Helicon Hill. You've dong ode a lot, but you canto us more; We think you a beat anapest and a bore. Unless you strike out in a different line You'll get a short stop from Yours truly, THE NINE, To Cio AND SIsTERS: ML Our dealings are dun! Keep your blanketty blank verses! I wouldn't have one! If you want me to pay for each line in advance I'll go to some shop where a man stanza chance. Your goods were no good and I'll not pay the bill; Tl see you all sooner in Helicon Hill. You've bard me from fortune—your failure to trust Has ruined my business, and now I am BUST. Fred, W. Ashley. I N an editorial, printed in our issue of October 17, we used the case of an Elmira lumber dealer who had killed one of his employés to illustrate the point we were making against sensational journalism. It has been called to our attention that some of Lire’s readers might draw a wrong inference from the allusion and fancy we were also holding the Elmira man up to public reprobation, The facts are that the killing was done strictly in self-defense.y and the Elmira man should be commended rather than blamed for his act, as it rid the earth of one of those uncom- fortable persons whose first resort in righting a supposed wrong is to brute force. RS. GAZZAM: They say that Barnum’s show is the biggest thing in England now. GazzaM: I suppose so, since Russell Harrison brought his head home. comicbooks.com