Life, 1889-10-03 · page 7 of 18
Life — October 3, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 189 This page contains several brief satirical dialogues and sketches typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines. **"A Choice"** is a poem about romantic sacrifice—choosing between love and smoking, ultimately selecting cigars. **"True Police Instinct"** mocks civil service examiners through a dialogue where an applicant cannot distinguish between "prosecution" and "persecution." **"A Peaceable Man"** satirizes indifference: a character refuses to address his dog eating hens, showing apathetic acceptance. **"King of Cannibal Islands"** presents dark humor about population decline, with a minister joking that "one man's meat is another man's poison." **"Georgia Lady/Polly"** contains a brief domestic exchange about crackers. The sketches use rapid-fire joke structures common to Life's format—short, punchy dialogues exploiting wordplay, absurdity, and social commentary rather than targeting specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Visitor: THE BOYS DO RE TELLIN’ ME THAT DINNIS 15 SICK ABeD. I$ HE ANY BETTER I DUNNO? Lady of House: 1 CAN'T SAY JUST YIT, YEZ SEE HE THRIED TO FROIGHTEN ME BY HIDIN' UNDER MY BED PERTENDIN' TO BE A BURGLAR, AN’ HE'S LYIN' UP SHTAIRS WID A BROKEN LEG AN’ TWO DOCTORS A TRYIN’ TO TA! ‘OUR BULLETS OUT O' MIS BODY, But HOW was I TO KNOW HIM IN THE DAR-RK? A PEACEABLE MAN. ADGER (mad and excited): Say, your dog ate up seven of my hens last night. What are you going to do about it? MCGALL: Well, if it don’t make the dog sick I won't do anything about it. ING OF CANNIBAL ISLANDS (¢0 hes Minister of Interior): How do you account for the decrease in population of my island? MINISTER OF INTERIOR: I know not, sire, unless it be that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. (Fakes LADY: Polly want a cracker ? POLLY: Lord, no; not here. "ERE is a good deal of read tape about the ticker basket. A CHOICE. ONE are the happy summer days, And now, just o'er the distant hills, Hangs like a screen a purple haze, And color all the woodland fills. The trees may don their royal’dress, But, ah! no kingly robe is mine! Of my two loves I loved one less, And now that love has ceased to shine. Clouds hid that sun of love from me— Tobacco clouds were they in fact — No maid was ever fair as she, And no one ever more exact. I loved her, yet loved my cigar; To wed no smoker did she vow; I had to choose —to cast afar Love or my smoke—/'m smoking now! Flavel Scott Mines. TRUE POLICE INSTINCT. “IVIL SERVICE EXAMINER: What is the differ- ence between prosecution and persecution? APPLICANT FOR “THE FORCE”: Faith, sor, Oi didn't know there was any! E: Do you love me, darling ? SHE: Sometimes I think I do, and then again when you have on that new fall overcoat you bought in Philadel- phia I have my doubts. Mother: YoU MAVE DRAWN 1MAT DONKEY VERY NICELY JouNNY, BUT YOU MAVE FORGOTTEN ONE THING, WHERE 18 Mis TAIL? Johnny: ON, THAT DONKEY DOESN'T NFED ANY TAIL, THERE ARE NO FLIES ON HIM, ee comicbooks.com