Life — August 8, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: ar = = ; AT FISSRS At WLLy Laby (to dressmaker and milliner): Here, 1 have brought the materials. This one is for the bathing-suit and the other for trim- ming the hat. A week later. Laby (trying on the new dress): But I fancy the bathing-suit is a great deal too tight and narrow. Have you used all the material ? DRESSMAKER (aside): Ciel! 1 wonder now whether I mistook the materials, and trimmed the hat with the stuff for the bathing-suit. —Charivart, He concluded he would tell the chil@ the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So he took him on his knee and told him how Santa Claus was a pretty fabrication made up by fathers and mothers who loved their children, tomake them happy, and the fathers and mothers were the real Santa Claus. The small boy listened in silence. This was a shock to him, because, like other and more inexcusable people he felt he had been making a'painful exbibi- tion of his ignorance. He slid down from his father’s knee and walked across the room to the door. He opened it and stood hold- ing the knob for a moment in a kind of deep thought. Then he turned and looked at his father. “Say, papa, have you been filling me up about the devil, too?” — San Francisco Chronicle, A Renewable Term Policy THE PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY Jet Owe Apr Fo 83 Lord LonspALE who was reputed to have the largest family of daughters among the English aristocracy, was once taking a walk at B—, a German watering-place, with his six oldest daughters. Two other visitors followed at a little distance, and one of them remarked, in an undertone— ' “Alas! poor man !"* But the lord, who had overheard the observation, turned round, and replied, with gentle emphasis— “Not so poor as you think, sir, I have six other daughters at home !"—Chronth der Zeit. Mus. Fonpaa: Me Goodness? Bea-frice, you're nawt going to disgrace your parents by marrying that hawrid Mr. Oldogyw ho bas such terrible manners and dresses in such wretched taste. Why, he actually eats pie with a knife. Beatrice: Yes, I know he eats pie with a knife, mama, but he knows how tocut coupons with shears all right; and they do sa his manners when he presents a check at the bank are charming. love him, mama, for his real worth,— Ex. AN Englishman, who was tired of his life, determined to put an. end toit. He summoned his valet. “John, I am going to throw myself out of the window.” “Very good, sir.” If anyone calls you will tell him that Pam not at home.” «Very good, sir.” The next minute there was a ring at the door. A friend looked in. “Is Lord X— in?” The servant looked to the window and said — “He has just gone out, sir!"—Le Don Quichotte. MIDSUMMER HOLIDAY CENTURY S OF NEW YORK, HOME OFFICE, Equitable Building, No. 120 Broadway, Is the safest, least expensive and: fairest contract of life insurance in the market. One-half the rates usually charged. SHEPPARD HOMANS, President and Actuary. WM. E. STEVENS, Secretary. Send for Prospectus or call in person. (On receipt of 25 cts. we wit mail sample of Metcalf's Heliotrope orViolette Sachet Powder to any address. These Powders are very care- am Q@ fally compounded and are unequalled in quality and strength, They iinpart a most delightful and lasting perfume to ladies’ handker- a chiefs, glovesand stationery, and are invaluable in the M a | led making of fancy articles, T. METCALF & CO. 39 Tremont St., Boston, % CO. DECORATION Furniture CORVRIGEYED. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. iT} LIFE ” BINDER CHEAP, STRONG AND DURABLE. Will hold 26 Numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States Jor $1.00, postage free. (AUGUST NUMBER). 80 Pictures, 8 Full page illustrations, including a new portrait of Tennyson; thirty- two exquisite pictures of life and scenery on the Thames, by Pen- nell; engravings from nature, by Kingsley, French, Closson and Davis; three full-page engrav- ings from Fra Angelico, by Cole; Indian Pictures, by Remington ; two complete stories by Cable and Edward Bellamy; the beginning of anovelette by “Uncle Remus”; “Lincoln and the Churche: “At the Kara Mines of Siberia “The Poison of Rattlesnakes,” by Dr. Weir Mitchell, etc., etc., etc, Tue Century Co., New York. A: I say, friend, you look dreadfully old! B: Very likely; fact is, I was never in my life as old as 1 am at the present moment.— Humoristika, First NURSE: Did you ever see a lion fed ? os ADDRESS: Seconp Nurse: Yes, once; I was standing too near the cage and the baby I was in charge of was snatched into the cage and devoured, First Nurse: Oh, what did the parents do ?> SECOND NURSE (sodding violently) : They dis- charged me !— Lowell Citizen. Curtains OFFICE (33 FIFTH AVE. MEW YORK OF “LIFE,” 28 W. 23d Street, New York. O .com