Life — August 1, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE- CISGORS Av LL A SEISSERS AT NVLLy : “You take a basin full of water, place your finger in it for twenty-five or thirty seconds, take it out and look at the hole that is left. The size of that hole represents about the impression that advice makes on a young man’s mind. "— Burdette. Two SMALL GiRLS: Oh, auntie! we've come to tell you there's a baby at our house! AUNT: That is nice. little sister ? LITTLE Girts (puss/ed): Nobody knows till the christening !— Wasp. Did the stork bring a little brother or a An ‘absent-minded German professor was one day observed walking down the street with one foot continually in the gutter, the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him saluted him with ‘Good evening, Herr Profesor; how are you?” ‘I was very well, I thought-“answered the professor,“ bat now don't know what's the matter with me; for the last half hour I have been limping." —Ex, ELDERLY HUT CogueTTisH Wipow : And this, Baron, is a por- trait of me when I was a girl. BaRon : Oh, indeed! ‘And by one of the old masters, I presume. —Fhiegende Blatter. “WalTeR, bring me a couple of soft boiled eggs.” Voice aT 'NexT TABLE: The same for me. But waiter be sure they are fresh. ‘All right.” WaAITER's VOICE IN THE DISTANCE: Four soft boiled eggs; two must be fresh.—Parts Figaro, Bostox Lavy : Have you the Century ? NeWSDEALER: Which do ye want—tobacco or magazine ?—Cii= cago Liar. Uspertaker: What kind of trimmings will you have on the casket ? Wipow : None whatever. killed him, U_: What? W.: Yes, Delirium trimmins.—Boston Courier. A plain casket. It was trimmins that Wuat is the matter, my man? Why do you look so sad ?” T have lost my wife.” No wonder you look sad.” “ Besides that, I have also married arother."—Fliegende Blatter. Tom Reep of Maine has been telling how he was admitted to the bar, He'was examined in California by Judge Wallace. Reed says: "The first question Judge Wallace asked me was, ‘Is the Legal Tender Act constitutional?" I did not hesitate a moment. I said simply, ‘it is constitutional.’ ‘You can pass,’ said Judge Wallace. ‘We always pass a man who can settle great constitutional questions off hand.""— Wasp. Packer’s ‘Tar Soap + . “Bland, lathering readily, and in odor recalls the breath of balsamic woods.” A Hygienic Luxury, promoting a clear, soft, smooth skin, healthful scalp and vig- orous hair. 25c. Druggists. “Invaluable for Summer Rashes.” | paimer House, Chicago. CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK, COMFORTABLE and ELEGANT. For Sale by Leading Dealers. Md Solely by WM. BARKER, Troy, N.Y. ‘The Mosr DELicaTe and Last- txo Sachet Powders, invalu- able to ladies in the making of fancy articles and essential in perfuming infants’ wardrobes, for sale by druggists every- where. Sample of Heliotrope, Violette, Jockey Club,or others mailed on receipt of 25 cts. T. METCALF & CO. Boston, Jockey Club 914 Chestaut St, Phila. DURABLE, Will hold 26 Numbers. Mailed t States for $1.00, postage free. PERFUMES EDENIA ARE YOU GOI) Use only the ‘“yviiting Standard Papers.” Address: A BINDER OFFICE OF “LIF! 28 W. 23d Street, New York ry fart ofthe United| GEO. MATHER’S SONS. RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. G TO CORRESPOND? You will find them to fill all the requirements of polite society. Every dealer in the United States can supply you with the fine cor- respondence papers made exclusively by the Whiting Paper Company, of Holyoke, Mass. Use no others. New York Offices, 150 and.1§2 Duane Street. comicbooks.com