Life — July 4, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RS. PANCAKE (¢o ¢ramp): Go away there! I don’t want any wood chopped, nor any carpets beaten, nor anything else! TRamMP: Be jabers, mum, thin it’s just the roight house Oi'm sthrikin’, mum. It’s only beggin’ Oi am. 1 LIFE: 13 APPLICANT: Oh, yes; always, rain or shine. St. PETER (suddenly suspictous): Did you ever write a modern society novel ? APPLICANT: No, I never did. know. Sr. PETER: H'm, it’s not wisdom that goes into them. Can you recall any especial acts of goodness on your part? APPLICANT (thoughtfully): 1 kept awake half one night once while an engaged girl was telling me about her fiancé. St. PETER: That was kind. APPLICANT: I always kept my dancing engagements even when the best man asked me last. ST. PETER: That was unusual, certainly. APPLICANT: And at college balls I used to affect real interest in what the seniors were saying to me. ST. PETER (who had been gradually widening the open- zng): We needn't go much further. Were you engaged to be married ? APPLICANT: Yes, Sr. PETER: Englishman, I suppose? APPLICANT: No, an American. I refused an English- man, though. St. PETER: Ah! He was a commoner, I suppose? APPLICANT: No, he was a duke. Sr. PETER (gasping): What! you refused an English peer? APPLICANT: I did not love him. St. PETER (throwing the gate wide open): My dear, walk right in. The next young woman from the side streets who comes up here, will have to make a very good showing to get by. I was not very wise, you M.-H. Welch. TOO MUCH OF A DENIAL. oe OU'RE rather too old to take in as an office-boy,” said Wiggins, as he eyed the applicant. “You must have lived pretty fast to be at the bottom of the lad- der at your age.” “No indeed, sir,” returned the other, earnestly, “ I'm just as slow as I ever was while a boy!” comicbooks.com