Life — May 30, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE 6 FEISPRS At WLLy WHAT'S HER ADDRESS? gies decidedly homely; I don't like her eyes, And the shade of her hair the tint I despise. Her complexion is bad, unattractive her chin ; Her mouth is too large, her nose is too thin. But all of these things are but trifles in life Compared with true graces. I'l make her my wife; For | gave up my seat in the street-car to her, And she looked at me kindly, and said, ‘t Thank you, sir, — Omaha World, I thought she Tom: Why, Bill, don't you know May Foley ? lived in your square. BIL ry possibly, Tom ; but yet we may not move in the same circle. — Harvard Lampoon “Witicit room do you think Stockton's prince entered 2” said a lady to a bald-headed man, *' the lady's or the tiger's ?” “Well,” he answered, dejectedly, ‘if the lady was anything like my wife, he needn't have cared."— Pittsburgh Dispatch, He: Do you read the current fiction of the day? Sue: Not very extensively, I am ashamed to say. However, I did. rerade through * Robert Elsmere,” and I intend to read this ** Pigs in Clover” that everybody is talking about.— Burlington Free Press. 323 “1 say, Jenkins, can you tell a young chicken from an old one? “Of course I can.” “Well, how?” “By the teeth.” hhickens don't have teeth.” 10, but I have."—Pick-Ale- Up, “Why did you shoot that man’s dog ?" asked the Justice; ‘he says he was perfectly quiet and never disturbed any one.” “Well, no,” the prisoner admitted, **1 never heard him how! in all his life, but he always looked as though he was goin' to, He'd come out into the front yard a dozen times a night, squat down, look at the moon, if there was one, draw his breath, open his mouth, and fix himself for a howl from here to Jericho, and then change his mind and crawl under the porch and go to sleep. I never heard him howl, but the suspense was killin’ me."—Brooklyn Eagle. Smit: De Binks, why that satisfied smile? You don't look like a man who has just been fined $10 and costs for fast driving. De Bixxs: Why, man alive, I just sold that old nag of mine for $150 more than he was worth. Did it on the strength of the fine. Who wouldn't smile ?—Kearney (Neb.) Enterprise. VALET (ringing up the doctor at 11.30 P.M.) : Councilor M— sends his pais th eg and desires you to come to him at once. Doctor (en dishabille): Good gracious | with him ? VALET: He wants a fourth hand for a rubber of whist.—//u- What is the matter A Renewable Term Policy THE PROVIDENT SAYINGS LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, HOME OFFICE, Equitable Building, No. 120 Broadway, Is the safest, least expensive and fairest contract of life insurance in the market. One-half the rates usually charged. SHEPPARD HOMANS, President and Actuary. WM. E. STEVENS, Secretary. Send for Prospectus or callin person. IMERICAN (cLes AL STYLES, PRICES « Gi nines 4) ON APPLICATIO Yh | ¢) Coruuiyserrery Mc (0 * CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, ee Motcalf's Sachet Powders. Send 25c. for sample glass Jar of Heliotrope, [Jockey Club, or Violette. 5 METCALF & CO. and delicate fra cannot object to t wear.” so cents each. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago, CASWELL, MASSEY & CO. 578 Fifth Ave., and 1121 Broadway, N.Y. and Newport, R. I., call attention to their two new perfume powders, “Double Violet,” AND “White Heliotrope.” A single trial will prove conclusively their lasting rance, use of these sachets in writing desks, and among handkerchiefs, laces and under- 5 PARIS” EXPOSITION! HE CHEQUE BANK issues Cheques, either singly or put up in Books, for the special use of VISITORS. to the PARIS EXPOSITION, who can cash the same at upwards of seventy Banking Houses, situated in different parts of Paris, without charge. Visitors’ mail matter can be addressed to them, care of the Société Générale, 4 Place de l'Opera, opposite the Grand’ Hotel, where English is spoken. Every Cheque that is issued by the Cheque Bank is EQUAL TO CASH, as Bank Notes are, for the Bank’s Capital, Guaran- tee Fund and Customers’ Balances are invested in British Government Securities, or held in Cash in the Bank of England, and can be cashed in every town in Europe without charge. For Handbook containing list of 2,500 Banking Houses who cash the cheques free of charge, and list of 250 of the principal hotels in Europe who accept them, apply to agents of CHEQUE BANK, Limited, CAPITAL, £100,000. GUARANTEE FUND, £27,000. TRUSTEES: The Right Honorable John Bright, M.P. The Right Honorable Earl Beauchamp. E. J. MATHEWS & CO., Bankers, No. 2 Wall Street, New York. 9r4 Chestnut St., Phila. ‘The most refined taste at St., Boston. x CO, DECORATION FURNITURE Curtains 133 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK yRIARSIS f.C.BRIGGS & C2 7 APPLETON ST, BOSTON MASS, MANUFACTURERS OF GRANO--SQUARE--6--UPRIGHT GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID (]NSTRUCTION + MAT(HLESS TONE ++ BeauTiFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com