Life — March 21, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

hi EIGGORS, AT NLLy A FACT. HE man who makes collecting bills His earthly occupation, Will gently hustle to the tomb, Devoid of admiration. — Nebraska State Journal, REcToR's WIFE (hysterically): Here's a note come from those Wagshaw’s! They ask me to play and sing during the evening, be- cause, they say, they ‘want the young and attractive women to assist as waitresses !"—Punch. Cuient (in New York law office some weeks hence): 1 have now laid the whole case before you. What action do you advise ? LAWYER CLEVELAND (adsent/y): Dan, what’ is your opin—(re- covering himself): Sir, 1 will take the matter under advisement. Call around to-morrow.—Chicago Tribune. Grocer (to cer) : What are you doing there, Henry ? Henry: I am picking the dead flies out of these dried currants. Grocer : You just let ‘em alone. Doyou suppose that I am run- ning this business for fun? Do you think that I come down here early at morning and toil all day just for the spirit of the thing ? You let those flies alone.—Arhansaw Traveler. 178 Epiro®; Mr. Funnyman, your humorist departmentis not half resh as it used to be. Are you in poor health ? 'N-o, sir, my health’s all right, but I'm afraid humorous work, ‘* What's the sifatter ?”” “Well, sir, I got married some months ago, and now when I print a joke about wives my wife thinks it meansher, and if I mention a mother-in-law her mother comes round and raises the roof, and, besides, one of my wife's brothers is a plumber, another isan ice-man, and the other is a coal dealer, and she has'a half-brother who is a book-agent, and they're all big men with ugly tempers. If you don’t mind I'd like to retire from the humorous department and take a position as obituary editor.”— Philadelphia Record. “Wny is your nose like Stonehenge, Spoff ?” asked Stiffback. “Give it up.” “« Because it's the most prominent feature of the biggest flat in England.” They haven't spoken since.—London Pick-Me-Up. HE: Will you marry me ?. SHE: Wait a minute. (Exit. Reappearing with a shot-gun): Hold up your hands! Higher yet! I am sorry to say, Mr. Brown, that I can only bea sisterto you. You must pardon my seemingly rude conduct, but so many young women are getting killed nowadays by rejected suitors that I thought a little precaution would not be out of place.— Terre Haute Express. Tue drama is getting more and more realistic. Real babies, real water, real burglars, are among the advertised realities. We have hopes of a future play with real actors.—altimore American, Maximum Security. ~ Minimum Cost. THE PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY, 120 Broadway, New York (EQUITABLE BUILDING), will give you double the amount of in- surance that you can obtain for the same money from any of the old companies. Avoids the unnecessarily high cost of level premium life insurance and the insecurity and uncertainty of assessment insurance. SHEPPARD HOMANS, President and Actuary. Secretary. WM. E. 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TRUSTEES: ‘The Right Honorable JOHN BRIGHT, M.P., The Right Honorable EARL BEAUCHAMP, Bankers: Bank of England. ‘The Capital of the Bank and its Guarantee Fund of 50 per cent. is invested in Government Securities. The Bank does not discount Notes or Bills, nor speculate, but loans its Deposits against Govern- ment Securities, thus making the Cheque. Bank Cheques EQUAL TO CASH as Bank of Eng- land Notes are, and are cheaper than Postal Orders. ‘The Cheque Rank issues Cheques singly or in books, from ONE POUND upwards, for the use of Travelers, and. for others remitting money to Europe, available in every town in England, Scot- land, Ireland and Wales. ‘In every town of Europe, and all other parts of the world. Cheque Bank Cheques are accepted as Cash by all the British Government Offices. VISITORS TO THE PARIS EXHIBI- TION this summer can get the Cheque Bank Cheques cashed at seventy Banking Houses in Paris. Travelers and others holding Cheque Bank Cheques can have their mail matter addressed to them, care of the Cheque Bank, London, who will take charge of the same and forward to any address, For Hand-Book containing List of upwards of 2000 of the principal Ranking Houses throughout the World who Cash the Cheque Bank Cheques, and for all information, apply to J. MATHEWS & CO,, Agents, 2 Wall St., New York. REFERENCES BY PERMISSION: JNO. W, MACKAY, Esq., President Commercial Cable Company, Mackay-Bennett Cables, N.Y. F, O. FRENCH, Ecq., President Manhattan Trust ‘Co., New York, and others. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. STON MASS. [SOF DECORATION FURNITURE Curtains 133 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK comicbooks.com