Life — March 14, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE ‘a SPISSOR) AT NvLLv THE WAY OF THE WORLD. HE soldier soldiers for his fame; The hunter hunts to catch his game; ‘The preacher preaches well and long ; The singer sings his high-priced song ; The driver drives his cart all day ; The clerk he clerks for weekly pay The dealer deals at put and call The dude he dudles, that is all. — Washington Critic, Newsnoy: Here y' ar’! Washington's birthday suppl'ment—ten ‘lustrations ‘n’ complete novel on sassiety! All the latest scandals! INTERESTED PURCHASER: And what's that in your other hand ? Newseoy : Aw, dat’s de paper what gives de suppl'ment.— 7ime. Otp Mr. Canvip (sexton): The minister told me to close the windie, an‘ I said tu him as how the young leddy wished it open, but says he, "I run this congregation, and no lamb shall be lost from the fold with such a overhanging debt on the church !—7ime. A Lonpon dude has been poisoned through sucking the head of his cane, This news will goa long way towards reconciling us to the spectacle of a long-eared, knock-kneed exquisite absently chew- ing the knob of his stick.—Afelbourne Punch, CELEBRATED AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St Packer's Tar Soap used as a Sham- oo will work wonders in curing andruff and Itching, and preventing Baldness. 25 cents. Druggists. Palmer House, Chicago. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, PERFUMES EDENIA and Goya Lily. NEW YORK. 9t4 Chestnut St., Phila, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. 157 “Don'r be in such an awful hurry,” said old Uncle Tobias to his nephews and meces. ‘You lose a great deal by being in such an awful hurry. Lightnin’ might do a great deal more if it wasn't al- ways in such an awful hurry."—London Tit-Bits, ScHooLmaster’s Wire: If your sister comes to-morrow ‘with her children, and remains with us a few days, we shall have to fry lots of pancakes, and we have neither eggs nor butter in the house. SCHOOLMASTER : And we are short of money, besides. But pa- tience; I have an idea. (Af school): Children, to-morrow I will tell you the beautiful story of Columbus, who discovered America ; so each of you will have to bring an egg with you to school. If you don't happen to have any eggs in the house, a little butter will do.— Fliegende Blatter, Jake: I say, sir, the man that bought that $15 suit from you yesterday morning has brought it back. Deacer: Why, what's the matter? Jake: He says it ain't wool. DEALER: It ain't wool! Well, why don't you tell him it is? Jake: I did, and he won't believe me. DEALER: That's too bad! Well, the only thing we can do is to show him where the moths have eaten into it. He didn't notice it yesterday when he took the suit.—Detrott ree Press, “Is Washington's Birthday observed in Texas?” asked a New Yorker, who was visiting San Antonio. “Observed 2" exclaimed the astonished native, * why, it’s vener- ated. It takes four carloads of beer to fill the demand on that sa- cred day."— Texas Siftings. THE CHEQUE BANK, LIMITED. Esranuisnen ix Lone CHIEF OFFICE, 4 Waterloo Place, Pall Mall, London. TRUSTEE, Bankers: Hank of Engl ‘The Capital of the Bank of so per cent. is invested in The Bank does not discount Notes or Hills, nor speculate, but loans its Deposits against Govern- meat Securities, thus making the Cheque, Bank Cheques EQUAL TO CASH —as Bank of Eng: land Notes are, and are cheaper than Postal Orders. The Cheque’ Hank issues Cheques singly or in books, from ONE POUND upwards, for the use of Travelers, and for others remitting money to Europe, available in every town in England, Scat- land, Ireland and Wales. In every towa of Europe, aod all other parts of the world, Cheque Bank Cheques are accepted as Cash by all the British Government Offices VISITORS TO THE PARIS EX UBI- TION this summer can get the Cheque Rank Cheques cashed at seventy Banking Houses in Paris, ers and others holding Cheque Bai Cheques can have their mail matter addressed to them, care of the Cheque Hank, London, who will take charge of the same and forward to any address. For Hand-Book containing List of upwards of 2000 of the principal Nanking Houses throughout the World who Cash the Cheque Bank Cheques, and for all information, apply to E, J. MATHEWS & CO.,, Agents, HATS REFERENCES BY PERMISSION JNO. W, MACKAY, Esq., President Commercial Cable Company, Mackay- Bennett Cables, N. Y. F.O, FRENCH, Esq, President Manhattas Trust ‘Co., New York, and others, GGS-PIANOs aa APPLE TONS oF py MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF Ac 5 ja GRACEFULDESIGNS +» SOLID ONSTRUCTION : MAT(HLESS TONE ++ BEAUTIFUL FINISH, comicbooks.com