Life — January 17, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AT SEISERS, A WiLL ARY ANN lies here at rest, With her head on Abraham's breast ; It’s very nice for Mary Ann, But rather tough on Abraham. —Old Epitaph. Miss SMYTHE (fo Editor Puffer, of the Daily Screecher”): Oh, Mr. Puffer, I think your paper is just splendid!" Last week I adver- tised in the Screecher for my lost bracelet, and I found it the very next day, right on the piano—just where I had left it.— Zoronto Grip. THE Czar is at last really hard up, and Count Schouvaloff is scraping together all his majesty’s superfluous jewelry to raise a little coin upon it. This is awful! It is bad enough to be compelled to wear a stove-metal undershirt, but to be cut down to only a pound of tallow candles at meals will break the spirit of the haughty Ro- manoff.—San Francisco News Letter. “1 HEAR you are erecting a young men’s college in your town,” said Alpha to Omega. “‘ How is it progressing ?” ““Splendidly,” replied Omega. ‘The baseball grounds are al- ready laid out, and ground will be broken for the college buildings in a couple of months.”—Norristown Herald. Al Lapy: And what does your father do? LiTTLe GirL: Oh, papa is a doctor. Lapy: Indeed! I suppose he practices a great deal, does he not ? LirTLe GiRL: Oh, no; he doesn’t practice any more. He knows how now.—Harfer's Young People. ‘DaNIEL,” remarked the President yesterday, with a sly twinkle in his eye, and a gurgling chutkle in his bosom, “Yes, sire,” responded Daniel, pleasantly. “It has been some time since the election, but a good thing never grows old.” “Sire,” inquired Daniel in astonishment, ‘‘do you mean to say the election was—” “Tut, tut, Daniel, let that go,” interrupted the President. a conundrum I’m talking about.” “What is it, sire ?” asked Daniel, in evident relief. “What is the difference, Daniel, between me and the City of Rome?” “Give it up, sire,” said Daniel, after a minute or two of profound reflection. ‘What is it?” “Ie is this, Daniel,” and the President laughed in reminiscent glee, ‘ Rome sat on her seven Hills and I only sat on one.” Again the President laughed, but Daniel questioningly shook his head and sighed.— Washington Post. “CLARA!” shouted the old man from the head of the stairs, in a husky tone of voice, as though he had just got out of a warm bed. No response. “Clara, I say!” he repeated, ‘Then an uneasy sort of sound came from the parlor. “Your daughter, sir.” in a weak, piping, let-us have-peace voice, “has just gone to the cellar for a fresh pitcher of cider." —Suz. “ls Dr. D. G. Brinton, Philadelphia, says: “After trying any number of soaps, we have settled down on Pack- er’s Tar Soap as the best of all, whether as a toilet or a surgical soap. It is remarkably pure, cleansing, and healing ; it is excellent in a large va- riety of skin diseases, among which we particularly name seborrhoea of the scalp, dandruff, chafing, and itch- ing, all of them very common and very obstinate. It contains the bal- samic virtues of the pine in a high de- gree, and is soft and refreshing to the skin.” — Vide Medical and Surgical Re- porter, Phila. Quudbora PERFUMES LADIES’ Palmer House, Chicago. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, aero COPYRIGKTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. STERN BROTHERS Direct attention to their extremely large _assort- ments of French hand- made Satin, Coutille and Sateen CORSETS. Controlling for years the best and most desirable shapes of several of the leading French Manufac- turers, we are in position to offer styles and shapes superior to those of any other establishment, and at very much lower prices. 32 to 36 West 23d St. AND 23 to 85 West 22d St 914 Chestnut St., Phila, EDENIA PIANOS C.C.BRIGGS &C2 5 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF IND-- SQUARE. -6--UPRIGHT GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID ONSTRUCTION MATCHLESS TONE ++ BEAUTIFUL FINISH, comicbooks.com