Life — January 10, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: FIER AT NvLLy Ni : vA T z MODERN DOUBT. = [N reading history of Jonah and whale, There arises a serious question, Was it ground for a solemn, miraculous tale, Or merely the whale’s indigestion. '—Merchant Traveler. Snap Actor: I have called, sir, to ask you to insert a line to the effect that I have just refused an offer of $500 a week. AccoMMoDATING EDITOR: With pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir ? Snap Actor: That's all, unless you have a spare dime about you. —Philadelphia Record. “CaN a young man marry comfortably on $500 a year?” asks a correspondent. ‘ Yes, he can; but he will be deucedly uncomfortable afterward.”"—Burlington Free Press. “Papa, who is Ajeeb ?” “« He is the great chess player at the Eden Musee, my son.” “And does he beat everybody, papa ?” ¥ “« Everybody who plays with him.” “Why can nobody beat Ajeeb, papa?” “Because, my son, Ajeeb will not work until he has the money. Nobody ever beats Ajeeb."—Merchant Traveler. 27 **T CaN only bea sister to you, George—nothing more.” “I'm afraid that won’t do, Miss Clara. I have five grown sisters already, and, to tell you the truth, they are not very favorably dis- posed toward you; they think a match with you would be the mis- take of my life.” “In that case, George,” said the girl, drawing herself up with haughty grace, ‘you may name the day.”"—Sun. No contributions to the ‘Is Marriage a Failure” discussion have yet arrived from Salt Lake City.—Puck. MADELEINE: Wasn't it hot at the Johnson's last night? Fred Johnson and I had to go out on the piazza, the air got so close. MARGUERITE (pleasantly): Didn't the heir get pretty close out there, too ?—Harvard Lampoon, Mrs. Onyx: How do you know that Mrs. Brilliant’s diamonds are only paste and her silverware is only plated ? MRS, GARNETT: How? Why, she is my very best friend.—/ew- eler's Weekly. IRATE PASSENGER (as train és moving off): Why the — didn't you put my luggage in as I told you, you old— Porter: E—h, man! yer baggage es na sic a fule as yersel. Ye're i? the wrang train !—Punch. AN Austin clergyman, whose name we suppress on account of his sacred calling, was absorbed in thought a few Sundays ago, just be- fore divine service began, when he was approached by the organist, who asked: ‘What shall T play ?” “What kind of a hand have you got?” responded the absent minded clergyman.—Zexas Siftings. BONBONS AND 7 CHOCOLATES. Novelties in Fancy Baskets and Bonbon- nieres, suitable for Presents. 863 Broadway, bet. 17th and 18th Sts. 150 Broadway, cor. Liberty St., N. ¥. JPALY'S THEATRE, Every night at 8:15. ‘ Bewildering delirious fun.” —Heradd. LOTTERY| Ada Rehan, Mrs. Gilbert, John OF LovE,| Drew: Geo. Clarke, James Lewis. Matinees WEDNESDAY SATURDAY at 2 London’s Celebrated LADIES’ STERN BROTHERS Continue to receive throngh their Paris House the latest productions of the leading modistes in COSTUMES, GOPYRIGKTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. Surgeon Dentist, DR. GEORGE H. JONES, Cordially endorses the and adds: ‘Unlike bristles, it is harmless in use, and being a most excellent polisher and aheorbents Thoroughly Preserves the ‘eeth.”” AT ALL DRUGGISTS. “LIFE” BINDER. Cheap, Strong and Durable. ‘Will hold 26 Numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1.00, postage free. Address, OFFICE OF “LIFE,” 28 West aad Street, New York. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago, 914 Chestnut St., Phila. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and-27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. GRAND: -SQUARE--& PIANOS gi : C.C.BRIGG: 5 APPLETONST. HESTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF aT GRACEFUL DESIGNS ++ SOLID ONETRUCTION MATCHLESS TONE ++ BEAUTIFUL TINISH. Walking Dresses, House Robes, Wraps and Cloaks, Bonnets and Round Hats. Special attention is called to their superior facilities in their Dressmaking Depts. Employing at all times a large staff of the most competent fitters, they are in position to give the utmost satisfaction. 82 to 36 West 23d st. AND 23 to 35 West 22d x. | Epiror: That little item of yours yesterday re- minded me strongly of some of Shakspeare’s work. Funny MAN (S/ushing): Ah, thank you! It is kind of you to say so, In what respect, may I inquire? EpITOR (coldly): In age, principally.—Wash- ington Post,