Life — December 27, 1888 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

XMAS GIFTS. THE SPIRIT OF THE GIVER, ~AOPHY LIVINGSTON LITTLEHEART: I must select something for Eleanor Featherwaite this morning. HER FRIEND: What shall it be? S.L.L.: Oh, I hardly know yet. Nothing very expensive. HER FRiENnD: It’s not the value, you know, but the sentiment of the gift that pleases. S.L. L.: Yes, of course. Besides, Eleanor only sent me a waste-paper basket last year. THE SPIRIT OF THE RECEIVER. Mrs. FRED'K FEATHERWAITE: What's that, Fred, another parcel ? MR. FRED'K FEATHERWAITE: Yes, “ with love and a Merry Xmas,” from “ Letitia Lit- tleheart.” Mrs. F. F.: It’s a picture, by the looks. Is it an etching ? : [think not (d/splays if). MR. F. Mrs. F. F. (looking closely): Why, it’s not even an en- graving! Mr. F. F.: Rather a pretty thing, though, Mrs. F, F.: I'll hang itin the nursery. Fancy her send- ing me one of those cheap photographs! It’s almost in- sulting ! THE MERRY CHILDREN, Mrs. MURRAYHILL: Celeste, what is Master Harold crying for ? CELESTE: I happened to say, madam, that I lived with a little boy who had a hundred and four presents one Xmas. Mrs. MURRAYHILL: Well? CeLeste: Why, then he insisted upon counting his, and he has been kicking and crying like this ever since, because he has only ninety-eight. MRS. MURRAYHILL (soothingly): There, Harold, dear—you shall have some more if you want them. I should think, Celeste, you could get on peace- ably with the little fellow to-day of all days. THE WAY IT WAS SENT. RTHUR: I've put off my board bill—twenty-five; borrowed ten and hung up my sleeve- buttons for five—that makes the forty. Now for Clara's present. THE ¥ CLara’s SISTER: Oh, this must be Arthur's present! WAY IT WAS ACCEPTED ‘LIFE: CLARA: Open it, quick! I'm so afraid it won't be from Tiffany. Ciara's SISTER: Well, it is! CLARA (critically): Yes, so itis. It isn’t a case, though; only a box. That's awfully shabby ! Ciara's SISTER: But see what's inside! lace! CLARA (coldly): I don’t call that very lovely. year’s design, not half as rich as Polly Thurston's. Arthur was very skimpy indeed! A lovely neck- A last I think IN THE LITERARY CIRCLE. TRES (fo vésttor): What a charming Penner! You must put me down for twenty- five dollars. I wish it were more. No, don’t tell me I am generous; it is a positive privilege to be allowed to join in offering a testimonial to such a great, noble heart as dear Madam Bas-Bleu. Do make the gift worthy the recipient. Call on me again if you don’t get all the funds you need. 1 am so much obliged that you let me share in this pleasure. Good-bye, my dear! Hadn't we a refreshing, ennobling ses- sion yesterday? Good-bye! MRS. BELLES-LETTRES (so/us): That was a blow! Just after paying so enormously for that éd7/ion de /wxe for Pro- fessor Vellum. The children will get cheap gifts, that’s all, and I shall send no box home. It rankles, though, to give twenty-five dollars to that conccited, pedantic, insufferable Bas-Bleu! But she must be conciliated, and that tiresome Belle Penner is her toady and satellite. She'd tell her just what and just how everybody gave. And now to finish my essay for to-night. This peroration begins well (reads) : “"Tis earth's winter time, but the glorious summer of the heart! While the yule-log burns, the ice of selfishness, hatred and malice disappear, and charity, warm and glowing, fills the breast. Steep yourselves in it, oh, ye men and women! for the chiil may come again when the ashes whiten.” That's a fine period, I declare. forced to admire that. Bas-Bleu herself will be Philip H, Welch, EASILY EXPLAINED. LD LADY (fo grocer’s boy): What makes the price on them potatoes so stiff, boy ? GRocer’s Boy: It’s because there's so much starch in ‘em, mum, A’ American millionaire can eat in good French, even if he is unable to converse in that language. comicbooks.com