Life — November 15, 1888 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE ON THANKSGIVING. T last I was alone in my room, and I was meditating. I heldin my hand a letter inviting me to pass Thanksgiving with some friends, and I was meditating on the matter. ‘* What has Thanksgiving to do with me?” said I, ‘* What have I to be thankful for? Don't I have to struggle for my daily bread regularly from 10 to 2? Don't I have to pay my fare on the elevated \ railroad just the same as everybody else? And didn’t my tailor have the insolence to send in his bill for last winter's suit for the third time to- day? And didn't I sit alongside of * an old man who would hum all the airs at the opera last night? What have I got to be thankful about ?” Thus I sat meditating until the mental fatigue consequent upon these refections, and the genial * warmth of my fire lulled me into soft uncon- sciousness, I had been in this state about four minutes by the neigh- boring steeple, when I heard a carriage stop before the house, and a moment afterwards a sound like the adjusting of a stepladder outside my door; then my transom was suddenly thrown open, and a dazzling light filled my spacious hall bedroom, accompanied by a strange whirring. Soon the whirring ceased, and, my eyes becoming accus- tomed to the light, I saw a form as of a man in resplendent white, with a pair of wings 8 ft. x2 sitting in my rocker, **So you've nothing to be thankful for ?" said the form. “IT ventured a few remarks to that effect,” I answered, with a feeling of uncertainty, not unmingled with doubt. “Didn't you avoid going to the German Opera to-night 2” “Yes, sir,” said I, * Well, isn't that something to be thankful for?” “Yes, sir,” I replied, very sincerely. “ And aren't big trousers and low-cut waistcoats coming into style again?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, won't that give you a chance to wear out those clothes your Uncle Methusaleh left you?” Tt will, sir.” “Well, aren't you thankful for that ?” “Yes, sir; very.” “ And weren't you going to marry a girl with a two-million-dollar pa? And didn’t the old boy drop off three days before the wedding, and leave all his specie to somebody else, giving you a chance to hedge?” “That is quite true, sir.” “* Well, no thanks for that?" “Oh, yes, sir—a thousand thanks for that!" “Well, didn't your father and your grandfather and your great- grandfather all dream of brimstone and toasting-forks every night of their lives, and expect to wake up in it in the morning ?” “T believe they did, si Well, isn’t the brimstone business getting pretty dull ?” am glad to say it is, sir.” “Well, is that worth anything or isn’t it?” “It is, sir.” “And aren't you thankful that you have never been hung ?” “Indeed, Iam, sir!” “And answer me this, ingrate: Is there no cause for gratitude and thanksgiving in the fact that you were not born club-footed, or a'girl? that you've discovered a barber that won't drug you and then put sardine oil and oleomargarine on your head? that all men were born equal, and have been trying ever since to settle their differences ? that you've finally got rid of that quarter with a hole in it that you carried so long? Speak, murmurer, is there no cause for gratitude in all this?” ““T shall cease to murmur," I answered, very humbly. Another whir, a jingle of glass in my transom, a sudden darkness, and the presence was absent. I sat down and wrote to my friends that if they would kindly send me passes both ways, I would come out and spend Thanksgiving with them. LPL HE elephant, Freddy, was probably the first creature to wear loose trousers, and even he wouldn't do it in this weather if he could hide them in his trunk. NEW BOOKS - AYALE H HOLIDAYS. By Harold van Santvoord. New York: John B. The Aspern, Louisa Pallant, The Modern Warning. By Henry James. London and New York: Macmillan & Co. Rachel Armstrong. By Celia Parker Woolley. Boston: Ticknor & Co. The Peckster Professorship. By J. P. Quincy. Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin & Co, Pen and Ink, By Brander Matthews. ey The Story of Medieval France. G. P. Patoam’s Sons. Proverbs, Maxims and Phrases of All Age. Christy. Vols. I,and I. New York: G. P, Putnam's Son: The Bugle Song, and Other Poems, Wlustrated, Boston: Lauriat. Three Vassar Girls in France. trated. Boston: Estes & Lauriat. Little Ques’ Anmnat, Sterica and Poems for Little People. In one volume. New York and London: Long- By Gustave Masson, B.A. New York : Gompited by Robert Be Estes & By, Elizabeth W. Champey. Illus- Illustrated. JIMMY WENT TO THE FAIR GROUNDS AND SAW A BALLOON IN- FLATED WITH GAS. UPON HIS RETURN HOME HIS EXPERIMENT UPON SAMUEL (THE YOUNGEST) WAS A PERFECT SUCCESS, comicbooks.com