Life — November 15, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LINES ON AN AUTHORESS. HERE wasa young lady of letters. Who got far more fame than her betters ; For every one read “The Quick and the Dead?” By this cyclonic lady of * * . HIS isa funny old world, any how, but it is very hard to realize it when you are reading the comic papers.— Somerville Journal, The Somerville man must have been reading some of LIFE's esteemed contemporaries. . . . ss D” you come out ahead in the late election?” “No; badly defeated. The papers had too much to say about my reputation forty years ago.” “Oh, well, defeat is not so bad.” No, but my children have all left me, my wife has ap- plied for a divorce, and a dog that I paid fifty dollars for only last week, bit a meal out of my leg before the polls closed, and refuses to recognize me now.” . . . HAT was a mean thing in de Tayleure to hang crape on Raubson’s front door when their old mule died. But Raubson got even with him. He sent him a neatly-worded note of invitation to be one of the pall-bearers. . . . I" is stated that the maid of the mist is being courted by the rainbeau. TH following extract is sent us by a gentleman who, with one or two others, had written up to the country to an old friend to see if he would take them in for a week during the hunting season. He wrote back: “ We'll be glad tew se yer boys, god nose!” . . . T HAT able organ of public opinion, the Columbia Spec- fator, has attacked one of the great and growing evils of the time in a manner that leads us to hope that a noble reform may be accomplished. It wails in mighty and right- cous indignation : “It is a mortifying conclusion to arrive at, but nevertheless a true one, that in these days the ** Fresh” is, to all intents and purposes, as important as any man in College. Witness his complacent smile, his self-satisfied strut, and, above all, his utter lack of reverence for his superiors—the upper classmen. We do not mean reverence in the sense of obsequiousness, but it is undeniable that a man who has spent two or three years in College is entitled to a certain amount of respect from these absolute greenhorns. This is College tradition everywhere, and that Freshmen are to be allowed to break through this tradition is intolerable. This verdancy reached a climax on the day of the Fall regatta, when a couple of these freaks made their ap- pearance at the boat-house in mortar-boards. How any self-respect ing Sophomore could have seen these hats and not immediately thrown them into the river we are at a loss to understand. This Class of 1892 needs to have a moral lesson read to it, and we would much rejoice to see them, jointly and severally, soundly thrashed.” Now that the Sfecfator has sounded the note of warning we trust that the press and the pulpit will not fail to take it up. Public safety is menaced, the Government is in danger, the sacred cause for which our heroes fought and bled is imperilled! Freshmen to consider themselves free and equal? Freshmen to strut in the presence of a Sophomore? Ring the wild alarums and call our patriots to the fore! And do not forget, in the excitement of the moment, to pre- pare a thistle salad for the Spectator. REFORMATION. Clerical Friend: WELL, MY GOOD FELLOW, DON'T YOU FEEL RETTER NOW THAT YOU HAVE SIGNED THE PLEDGE ? Shocking Example (ina voice choked with emotion): YOU WAVE SAVED ME FROM A DRUNKARD'S DEATH. I FEEL LIKE A DIFFER- ENT MAN, COME OUT AND LET'S TAKE SOMETHING. comicbooks.com