Life — November 8, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PATENT, DOUBLE-ACTION, REVERSIBLE CAMPAIGN SONGS. HE fight is o'er, the victory won, Congratulations hearty ; From hand to hand, from tongue to tongue, Salute the Grand Old Meet Cleveland and Lat Party. Now, boys, let's have a rousing cheer! And, since success is certain, | § Free Trade, Mills’ bill, and such stuff O'er) Blaine, Protection, and free rum We'll kindly drop the curtain ! For } Harrison and Morton, We'll breathe most kindly wishes. Alas, poor souls, they've lost their chance To share the loaves and fishes ! § Cleveland and for Thurman, ; 100, £7. 6, . . . HE reason the editor never tells lies is not because, like Washington, he cannot, but because he has a chance to write ‘em. . . . ELLOWS (¢0 Missours poli- dictan): Well, how did the meeting pass off ? MIssouRI POLITICIAN: We opened her up with prayer, then two or three of the delegates got into a fight, and one of them was taken to the hospital. After that the regular busi- ness went on smoothly, It ~~ was one of the most harmo- nious meetings we ever had. . . . + THE AMERICAN DRAMA, T RAMP: Say, Sport, could yer please help——What, Billy, is dis yerself! What gold-mine are yer after strikin’? BILLY (én store clothes and jewelry): Bedad, it’s a soft snap, indade. The enterprizin’ manager av the “ Lost in Harlim" Company has engaged me as the Thramp ; and all Oi have to do is to shwill beer and snore, whoile the house roars, Begob, this stage realism is a big thing for some av us, Teddy! ATE FIELD has emerged from the West. First of all she brings up against the W.C.T.U. For the benefit of those readers of LiFe who do not know what these mysterious letters stand for, it may be well to state that they are the initials of the misnomer borne by the Women's Christian Temperance Union. The Women’s Christian Temperance Union is an association of zealous and well- meaning but impractical women banded together to fight against temperance and to promote the practice of secret intoxication. That is to say, they believe that alcohol should be banished from the face of the earth. This being an im- possibility the meaning of their success would be that liquor dealing would become a contraband trade and secret tippling —which makes confirmed drunkards of almost all those who indulge in it—would become a common practice. . . . HE whose crusade against polygamy brought about the teforms in Utah, has come East as a missionary in the cause of what she calls the Gospel of the Grape. That is to say, she is advocating a moderate use of pure native wines in place of the immoderate use of liquors and of the pernicious compounds very generally passed off as imported wines. That a woman should advocate drinking to any ex- tent or in any form makes the W. C. T. U. reformers hold up their hands in holy feminine horror. Nevertheless, Miss Field has the practical side of the question, and is far more likely to succeed in her work than are her critics in theirs. . HE LAUGHS BEST WHO LAUGHS LAST. Monsieur de Veau (referring to sign): 1 See YOU HAVE QUITE AN IMPORTANT ENGAGEMENT TO-DAY. : Miss Henne: Nes, 8UT YOU'LL BE TAKEN TO FILL IT, comicbooks.com