Life — November 1, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: FAT S°S6ORS iT WL HE wasa pretty salesgirl, He asked her for a kiss; For he was the accepted Of this fair and blushing miss, She gave him one, and as she drew Her rosy lips away— “Is there,” asked she, in trembling tones, * Anything else to-day ?" —Springfield Republican. MISTHER O'RooNEY (entering hardware store): The boss sint me down afther a pane av glass, tin be foorteen. ; Waccist CLERK: Well, Pat, I don't think I can give you a ten- by-fourteen, but I can let you have a fourteen-by-ten, if you think you can make that do.” oo Pat (struck with a bright idea): Be hivvens ion gimme wan av thim, an’ Oi'll jist turn th’ sideways av it upside down, an’ Oi don't belave the boss himself ud ever know th’ diflerence.— Zoronto Grip, THIN PARTY (who ts cramped up): These cars ought to charge by weight. . Stout Party: If they did they wouldn't stop to pick you up,— Texas Siftings. 251 AN irate woman entered a dry-goods store the other day and accosted one of the clerks: ** I've come to find out what you mean by arene me one dollar, Saturday night, for that table spread, and selling Mrs. Ferguson one just like it on Monday for sixty cents, Didn't you say it was my last chance to get one so cheap?” “You mistook me, madam,” responded the ready clerk. it was your last chance to get one for a dollar. put them down to sixty cents Monday morning. “T said And it was, for we Philadelphia Call, Reporter: I've just got a lovely theatrical scandal, full of the most spicy details. Epitor: Good! Run it in leaded and head it Too Sickening for Publication, and tell ‘em to run off twenty thousand extras.—7exas Siftings. “Yes,” said Deacon Gray, ‘I should like a little amusement now and then, but my principles are against witnessing or participating in any of the amusements of the present day. There's too much levity in 'em. If there were some kind of amusement now in which there was some solemnity, something grave and sedate like, I might stretch my conscience so far as to be a looker on fora while. It would do me good.” “Why,” said Deacon Black, “I ean put you on to that." “Certainly. Come out to the cricket match with me this after- noon."—Boston Courter. Dube: Can you—ah—sell me—ah—a blue cravat to match my eyes—ah? SaLEsMAN: I don’t think—ah—that I can; but I can sell youa very soft hat to match your very soft head—ah !—7exas Si/tings. The Best)| Yoinieliite STEEL PENS IN THE ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF DURABILITY, EVENNESS OF POINTS AND WORKMANSHIP. SOLD BY Stationers and Notion Dealers Everywhere CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., $ KRAKAUER 19 Rast 2ist St., Now York. NEW CLOTHS, NEW NEW YORK. Air-Tight Rubber Tip PEARL MUCILAGE. Palmer House, Chicago. 94 Chestnut St., Phila, JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St. NEW YORK. Conventent. Dereat is a school in which truth always growsstrong. Though your disease bafle your physician, if you put your blood in good order with Warner's Log Cabin Sarsaparilla, you can rely on finally growing well and strong. Pure blood means good health. LFAST GINGER ALE Price, 15 cents, Always air-tight when not in use, Cannot “GUM UP.” A perfect Self-Feeder. CORK! EVAPORATION! NO SPILLING! Sample by mail on receipt of 20 CENTS. For sale by stationers. 140 Nassau St., THE NASSAU MFG. CO., New York. The Best Mucilage in the Best Bottle. C.C.BA oe 5 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF GRAND: -SQUARE--6--UPRIGHT | Ld La GRACEFUL DESIGNS ++ Sou ONSTRUCTION MAT(HLESS TONE «+ BEAUTIFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com