Life, 1888-11-01 · page 11 of 14
Life — November 1, 1888 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Deadly Green Apple" and "King Henry and His Mothers-in-Law" This page contains two satirical pieces. The top cartoon shows a man (likely representing someone in a predicament) trying to coax an aggressive dog with apples—a visual joke about attempted bribery or appeasement. The main content is a theatrical comedy sketch about King Henry VIII, exploiting the historical fact that when Henry married his sixth wife, Catherine Parr, four of his previous wives' mothers were living in the royal palace. The sketch satirizes this absurd domestic situation through melodramatic dialogue where Henry grows increasingly agitated as his various mothers-in-law deliver gossipy accusations about Catherine's alleged infidelity with the cook (based on pepper in soup). The satire mocks both Henry's volatile temperament and the chaotic royal household. It uses exaggerated Shakespearean-style language and Victorian theatrical conventions to ridicule a genuinely unusual historical circumstance, creating comedy from the collision of marital drama with multiple in-laws under one roof.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
> LIFE: THE DEADLY GREEN “WELL, HERE I aM IN A FIX! WonbeR 1F I COULDN'T COAX THE BRUTE WITH A FEW APPLES, HERE, BULLY! BULLY!” KING HENRY AND HIS MOTHERS-IN-LAW. A TRAGEDY. By A TaLtow CHANDLER, N.B,—RECENT RESEARCHES INTO THE PRIVATE HISTORY OF tHE CourT OF Henry VIII, DISCLOSE A VERY SINGULAR FACT. AT THE TIME OF HENRY'S MARRIAGE TO HIS SIXTH WIFE, CATHERINE PARR, NO LESS THAN FOUR OF HIS FORMER MOTHERS-IN-LAW WERE PERMANENTLY ESTABLISHED BENEATH THE ROYAL ROOF! THE COMPLICATIONS ARISING FROM THIS MOST UNPRECEDENTED STATE OF AFFAIRS HAVE SUGGESTED THEMSELVES AS EMINENTLY DRAMATIC, Act I. Scene 1. (A breakfast room in the palace, Henry: Cath. HENRY: Enter Henry and Catherine.) Come, love, and pledge me in a cup of mead. Thanks, many thanks! ‘Thou drinkest not. Ha, ha! And yet thou sayest thou art a loving wife! CatH. : I like not mead, sire. Henry: What, thou likest not mead, Yet knowest it is thy husband’s fav'rite drink ? Thou'lt hoodwink me no longer! Traitress, go! Thou likest not mead, nor me, ‘tis plain enough. Catn. : Thou knowest that I love thee. HENRY (offering cup): Then drink this. Great gods! She shudders! She makes faces! Fiends! Come hurt her to perdition in a trice ! She calls this /oving/ “Tis a damning lie! A liar she, and I a cursed fool ! Unsay those cruel words. See! I have drained A brimming beaker. Wilt thou love me now ? I will! I will! Now I must leave thee, sweet, For the chase calls me. Prompt, at two P.M., CaTH, : Henry: APPLE. Five minutes later: THE APPLE IS MASTER OF THE SITUATION, Expect me home to dinner. What doest thou While I am absent ? Swiftly I will go And make a venison pasty, all for thee ! Sweat wife! My angel! CaTH. > Henry: Catit.: Fare thee well, my liege! Be here at two, and gladden Catherine's heart. (Exit Cath, Enter Mother-in-law No. 1.) 1st M,-1n-L,: Henry, a word with thee, Henry: Too many words Have ever passed between us. Get thee gone! 1st M,-1n-L.: Nay, hear me first, This morn I saw thy wife Conversing earnestly with— Henry Hag, thou liest! 1st M,-1N-L,:'Tis true, dear son-in-law, I saw her— Henry: Tell thy foul tale more quickly, or I'll choke thee N-L.; The Queen was talking with— Great powers! ‘ The cook! And what said she? Oh, Furies! Let me hear. (Enter second Mother-in-Law.) J'Uitell thee, Henry ; I was nigh the pair. She bade him put more pepper in the soup. This is too much! It was but yestere’en I found the broth too peppery for my liking, And told her so, What means the jade? I know! The Bishop's fond of pepper! 1st M.-1n-L,: So he is! 2p M.-IN-L.: And Ae dines here to-day! Alas, poor Henry! (Enter third Mother-in-Law, eagerly.) 3D M,-1n-L.; Henry, I cannot see thee thus deceived ! Henry: Deceived? Who? Why? How? What? By whom ? Damnation! Speak, woman, Nay, be silent! 3D M.-tn-L.: The Queen— Speak, I tell thee! comicbooks.com