Life — September 20, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: CHOLMONDELEY'S FATE. | HAD an old pat, named Chotmondeley, Whose form was uncommonly colmondeley ; He cut quite a dash, Made many a mash, But now he’s got spliced and lives glolmondeley. —Toronto Grip. ASSESSOR: I assure you we jurists are miserable awaiting the death of others. See the old Judge yonder; he holds on year after year, but we hope he will die soon. Lavy : But that is my father, sir! —Fliegende Blatter. “THE world is mine!" exclaimed the tragedian in Monte Cristo, and the comedy man waiting for eight weeks’ back salary, murmured faintly : ** Cut'me off a piece of New York, please." —Lowell /dea. RAGGED URCHIN (tweeping): Oh, oh—oh, dear! | : What is the matter, my boy ? ve lost (sob) my penny. Oh!” (Howl.) Never mind ; here is another.” Urchin sets up another bowl as he pockets the coin. ** What is the matter now 2?” “Oh, sir, if | hada't lost the other one I'd have two now."—New 167 Proressor: Gretchen! Please take the cat out of the room. I cannot have it making such a noise while I am at work. Where is it? Gretcnen: Why, Professor! You are sitting on it.—Berlin /i- lustrite Zeitung. * ENJOYED your party, Bobby ?” Oh, awfully 1” “Well, what little girls did you dance with 2” “Oh, I didn't dance. I had three fights down-stairs with V Richardson, an’ I licked him every time." —London Judy. ie From the habit hens have of laying their eggs in out-of-the-way places, one would fancy that they were laying them for a rise in price.—/udge. Tue Briveckoom : Well, that’s over! Brive (ictly): | wish you would contrive not to fidget so! BRIDEGROOM: When a fellow has about a stone and a half of rice down the back of his neck, it makes him rather restless. What are all the chappies staring at us for? I'm sure we don’t look as newly- married as all that. BRIDE (complacently): You would not notice such trifles, but Eulalie has really surpassed herself over my going-away dress. BrivecRoom : No, by Jove! I’m hanged if it’s that? Perhaps you think you are the attraction ? BRIDEGROOM : Spotted it as we passed that shop window. I say —er—Albinia, I'm not johing—really I'm not! ‘There's a beast of a white satin slipper on the roof of the brougham !— London Punch. “IT see," said Mr. Barkins, ‘that there's a million more women than men'in Germany.” * Yes,” said Mrs, Smarty: “they do that to evade the military requirements of the Germaa Government,"— Harper's Bazar. __ The Best\| Lbtmiebliiw STEEL PENS IN THE ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF DURABILITY, EVENNESS OF POINTS AND WORKMANSHIP. SOLD BY Stationers and Notion Dealers Everywhere! ‘Toucan liveat home and make more money at wer’ for us than at anything ete nthe world. Either sex :all aga Coste VEER, Terms FEea Addreu, THUR ACO, Augusta, Meine, Sundborg EDENIA l NU AD X Co LADIES’ NEW Palmer House, Chicago. CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., CHEAP, STRONG AND Will hold a6 Numbers. Mailed toany part of the Uniteo) States for $1.00, portage free. R OFFICE OF “LIFE,” 28 W. a3d Street, New York | ANNOUNCEMENT. KRAKAUER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 East 21st St., N. Y. 2d door East from Broadway, With a view of advancing the very liberal patronage accorded to my Specialty, I would inform patrons and the discriminating classes, that on return from my annual visit to the most noted European Centres of Fashion and Marts of Choicest Goods, I am now prepared fo show designs and models in Wraps, Gowns, Jackets and styles which cannot be out- matched by any one in my line. YORK. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. “LIFE” BINDER, DURABLE. a A Laoy visiting Bar Harbor says that the only thing you can buy there at a reasonable price is a postage-stamp.— Lewiston Journal. ROSS’S ROYAL 121 Broad St., Boston. BELFAST GINGER ALE Address: RRY RASPE y AR VIN RHENISH & Cologne: Lundborg’s Perfumes are for sale by almost all Druggists and Dealers in Toilet Articles, but if, for any reason, they cannot be so obtained, send for a Price List to LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 Barclay Street, cor. Church St., N. ¥. PIANOS e C.C.BRIGGS 468 5 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MANUFACTURERS OF GRAND - SQUARE. -6--UPRIGHT GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID ONSTRUCTION MAT(HLESS TONE - + BEAUTIFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com