Life — August 30, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO CONGRESS. E tax—discrimination fine— All wool we bring across the line. Oh, say, what tariff, statesmen, lies On wool ye pull athwart our eyes ! . * . HE man who left some fractions of himself behind in a railway accident continually objects to taking any ad- vice, “because,” says the justly-punished fiend, “however forewarned I may be, I can never again be forearmed.” . . . ELL, the drummers upheld their reputation for cheek in their recent call upon Mr. B. Harrison, of In- dianapolis, Indiana, who is supposed to be remotely connected with the Blaine movement. One of these gents showed Mr, Harrison a walking-stick made from / ‘a picket stolen from the candidate's i \ Se fence on a previous visit, and Mr. Har- \ y | rison was obliged to dissemble his anger and look pleased. The result was that when the delegation left the house every mother’s son of them took a picket, and now there is no = fence before the candidate's lawn. One of the bitter events of the Grandson’s life will be the replacing of that fence when the late November zephyrs are blowing. And he will have plenty of time to nail the pickets on hard. A extremely subtle person named Stearns, residing in an adjacent village, writes to object to L1Fe’s politics, and concludes his essay with this exegetic conundrum: “Have you heard of the medal which was gotten up for Nicholas Bird? He had done something worthy of reward, and his friends got up a medal for him, They made it of Nickel; on one side they put a goose, on the reverse, an ass! We have been unfortunate enough to have wasted our lives in ignorance of “the medal that was gotten up for Nicholas Bird” to the present time; but, overlooking the poverty of our correspondent’s rhetoric in consideration of the exquisite delicacy of his sarcasm, we are nevertheless compelled to admit that we should be able to appreciate his humor better had he taken the trouble to inform us to which side of the medal he was attracted by ties of the more intimate consanguinity. FRESH AIR FUND Before After UR little “guests” are rapidly increasing in numbers and in diameter. Over thirteen husdred have thus far gone into the country, This means a positive measure of health, strength and happiness to more than thirteen hundred little beings, and at a period when they are most in need of it. Our pleasure in the success of this fund is tempered only by the regret that! our readers may not fully realize the great good they are doing. You are helping those who cannot help themselves, and who, without your aid, would in many cases not survive the summer. Brevioialy acknowledged . $4,515.60 Julie, Nellie and Barnard - A. MOH. El Aland M. A.” E.BP. . WwW. S. . . An Admirer JeMoL. Jn. Olive, Denver, Col, Hambly. Carolyn and Electa . The Dalles, Oregon |. H. K.'B., Bayreuth, Germany A. J.J. «8 “sBenerly* « rer Ga. For Fresh Air Fund Elvira . Fresh Air Fund. Jessie. 2. E. A. : K.S.B . tf The Whistles © 2° 7. Heywood Florence, Madeline, Junior and Kenneth” Stuart. on we ewe California 2 “New London” ew es Miss Minnie Hamilton.” Another Farmington Girl. Irvington. Froma Friend . |. E.} Ralph W. “Gray and Hope Gray Wentworth : Wm. P. Clyde & Co. Raby N. Fred, San Francisco . TS. Further ‘Proceeds of “ Pound Party held at Larchmont, N. : Total, . . . + $4,930.71 . . . T is, alas, the life-insurance agent who says most heartily and enthusiastically to his customer, “I am delighted to see you looking so well, sir.” comicbooks.com