Life — August 16, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- TRUTH, ERMIT me, madam, to declare That 1 never will compare Eyes of yours to Starlight cold, Or your locks to Sunlight’s gold, Or your lips, I'd have you know, To the crimson Jacqueminot, Stuff like that's all very fine When you get so much a line; 97 LIEUTENANT (wading up): Donnerwetter! Already ten o'clock! John, why did you not wake me when I ordered ? Joun : I have already.wakened you several times, but perhaps you have not heard me.— Fliegende Blatter. “What were the last words of Brigham Young?” asked the teacher, “He never had any,” replied the smart bad boy; "he was a married man."—Aurdette. Mary : Don’t you dislike to have a man talk shop when he comes 1€; Indeed Ido! Who's been talking shop to you? : Oh, my yeung man, He's a streetcar conductor, you nearly every time he comes to see me he gets off his shop What does he say ? Sit closer, please !— Burlington Free Press. Since I don’t, I scorn to tell Flattering lies. I like too well Sun and Star and Jacqueminot To flatter them, I'd have you know. —O. H., in Time. “ ETHEL," asked a Lewiston mother of her daughter as the fair young girl sat down ata late breakfast in her morning gown, ‘did George leave any package for me last evening?" Ethel blushed and said falteringly: **Why, no, mamma! What made you ask?” “Oh, nothing ; I only heard him say at the door as he said good-bye, “Now, here is one more for your mother,’ and I didn’t know but it was that pattern for lace lambrequins that his mother has promised me.” Ethel said nothing.—Leweston Journal. : Smooth, Soft “I'm very glad to have been of any comfort to your poor husband, my good woman. But what made you send for me instad of your own minister?” “+ Well, sir, it's ¢yphus my poor husband’s got, and we dinna think it just reet for our ain minister to run the risk !"—London Punch. Sue: Were you at Saratoga last season, Mr. Van Couver ? Mr. VAN COUVER (a nine-dollar-a-week clerk): Aw—no; I spent last summer—er—abroad. Sue: Why, so did I, Mr. Van Couver, and the mosquitoes were something terrible, particularly about Bergen Point.—Accident News, A PHILADELPHIA citizen while trying to get out of the way of a horse that was standing still was run over and killed.— Zhe Epoch. LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 Bast 21st Street, NEW YORK, AND Bellevue Avenue, NEWPORT, - kK. 1, Invites inspection of y his fresh Importations LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 4 for 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., SUMMER WEAR, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., Selected forhighest-class NEW YORK. requirements, My new ota Chestnut St., Phi Riding-Habit Skirt, 2 Cuton entirely new prin- ciples, is exceptionally neat, close-fitting, grace- ful and comfortable. cars We Texture covvnienrap, : and CELEBRATED HATS ps Tint. 8 Tar Soap removes impairments and establishes in their stead that health- (ul, brilliant. natural cuticle which must be the basis of all Beautiful Complexions. ‘Toucan Hive at bomeand make more money at wer for us AND Palmer House, Chicago. Youno Man (fo fatlor): I must have that suit at eight o'clock to-night, sure, Snipper, for the Twillingham ball ; no mistake. SNirver: All right, sir. fi Yours Man: And what if it shouldn't jt Swiprer: I'm tobe a guest at the Twilling- ham ball myself, sir, and should the suit need any little alterations I can make them there. —London Tit-Bits, EDENIA Surdborgs ie RHENISH & Cologne: LUNDBORG'S RHENISH COLOGNE Is delightfully refreshing and cooling during THis MOT WEATHER. LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BAKCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. THK ENGADINE -PIANOS a CC.BRIGGS Se 5 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF GRANO:-SQUARE--6--UPRIGHT GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID ENSTRUCTION MAT(HLESS TONE + BEAUTIFUL FINISH.