Life — August 2, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: FESPRS NAL Na HOPPING AT CONCLUSIONS. “cc IF you think my legs eccentric,” Said the grasshopper to the bee, “And my forehead queerly pointed Where the brain-box ought to be ; ‘That my mouth has feeble motions Whence dark mysteries do exude, Please to know I once existed As a Pythagorean dude.” Judge. CUSTOMER (in restaurant): A broiled spring chicken, waiter, and a small bottle of vintage '74. Water: Yes, sir. (Later)—Find everything right, sir? Customer: No; you've made a mistake. You've brought me spring wine and a ‘74 vintage chicken.—Sun. Mrs. RAZZLE (who has just arrived in the country) : Mr, Razzle wanted me to ask you if you had room enough in the barn for a pair of cobs he is to bring up from the city ? ELNATHAN: Bless yer heart, of course we has. He kin put 'm right in th’ corn-crib ‘long with th’ rest of last year’s shuckin',—/udge. ever see Philadelphia before, Mr. Knickerbocker ? kER: Candidly, William, I never did. Whenever I've seen Philadelphia she’s been somewhat behind.— /arfer's Bazar, 69 Dip you kill that man 2” asked the prosecuting officer of a man who was on trial for murder, “Yes, sir. But it was in‘self-defense.” “presume so. Such affairs usually are. there for you to defend yourself from him 2” “He was my cook."—Merchant Traveler, What necessity was Aunt: Mina, what has beconie of all your beautiful curls? You have not got any left. Mixa: You see, the cavalry regiment that has been stationed here has been ordered away, and I had to give each of my admirers a lock of hair.— Zexas Siftings. THe young lady was reading a sto; summer hotel. The story began thus: ‘It was at a summer resort in July. He was a young man and he—" Here the young lady threw aside the book in disgust. ‘* The story is too utterly absur she said. ‘There are no young men at summer resorts in July.” Then she went out under the trees, climbed into a hammock and went to sleep.—Chicago News, y on the lonely piazza of the Visttor: You take it easy, Brown. You must have a good salary. Brows : H-m—ya-as—pre y well. I draw three hundred a year —save say a hundred, and run into debt four hundred, that's—eight hundred ; and if a bachelor can’t live on that—ought to be ashamed of himself ! !—Punch. AN indifferent actor, who bitterly resented the German journalist Saphir's criticisms, revenged himself by chalking on his door the word * Ass.” Saphir, who recognized the hand, dressed himself very carefully the next day and returned the call. ** You were kind enough to pay me a visit yesterday.” he said, ‘as I saw by the name, so permit me to return the civility."—San Francisco Argonaut. Smooth, Soft and Elastic Skin. Fine Texture ad | CELEBRATED HATS Tint. Packer's Tar Soap removes impairments of the skin, and establishes in their stead that health- ful, brilliaat, natural cuticle which must be the basis of all Beautiful Complexions. Sundbougs EDENIA Lumdborgs RHENISH & Cologne: LUNDBORG'S RHENISH COLOGNE Is delightfully refreshing and cooling during tH MOT WRATHER. LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BAKCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. LADIES’ Palmer House, Chicago. Drawing by Geo, AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK, 914 Chestnut St., Phila. An elegant Supplement, containing a fu . H. McCord, in the Min. Numosr of THE RICHFIELD NEWS. unique Souvenir of Richfeld Spriogs. 14 PIRST PRIZE MEDALS. Peerless Tobacco Work: The Yellowstone National Park, The Wonderland of the World, Pror. Joun Muir, of California, the dis- tinguished geologist, says the Yellowstone Park “surpasses in wakeful, exciting interest any other region yet discovered on the face of the globe.” THE NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILROAD— THE DINING-CAR LINE. From St. Paul, Minneapolis and Duluth to Helena, Butte, Tacoma, Portland, and ail Pa- cific Coast points, is the only rail line to the Yellowstone Park. On application to Chas, S. Fee, General Passenger Agent, St. Paul, Minnesota, you will receive, free of chai large map of the Park, a Park Guide, Tables, Kates, etc. *O “LIFE” BINDER. Cheap, Strong and Durable. WIL hold 26 Nambers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1.00, postage free. Address, OFFICE OF “LIFE,” 28 West 23d Street, New York. PIANOS el C.C.BRIGGS &C2 5 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS, MANUFACTURERS OF GRANO--SQUARE--6--UPRIGHT GRACEFUL DESIGNS -+ SOLID ONSTRUCTION MATCHLESS TONE ++ BEAUTIFUL FINISH. KIMBALL'S STRAIGHT CUT CIGARETTES. Are exquisite in style. ye Are dainty, sf Are extremely mild and delicate. Are alwa: nd carefully ‘uniform and up to standard. Are put up in satin and elegant boxcs. Are unsurpassed for purity and excellence. Are specially adapted to people of refined taste. Are conposed of only the finest Virginia and Turkish leat. WM. S. KIMBALL & CO., Rochester. N. Y. comicbooks.com