Life — June 28, 1888 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE THE MODERN JACK HORNER M®. JACK HORNER Sat in a “corner” Of wheat which he bought everywhere; He put in his thumb And pulled out a plum, Which made him a millionaire. — Toronto Grip. That is a very intelligent Maud. Why, I couldn't PRETTY COUSIN (0 young sissy): dog you have, Charley. Younc Sissy (proudly): Yes, indeed, begin to tell you all that dog knows. PRETTY Cousin: No, I fancy not, Charley.— New York Sun, “How do you think Thurman will run ?” asked a politician of a baseball enthusiast. ‘Thurman!” said the latter. ‘Which nine has he signed with ?°— Norristown Herald. RIDER HaccarD says he has lost $250,000 because there is no international copyright. See here, Rider, don’t you kick about your little seven-by-nine losses. We ourselves have lost more than nine or ten‘millions because we didn’t buy Manhattan Island when it was sold for $24. And later than that we lost as much more because Commodore Vanderbilt wasn’t our father. Talk about losses ; it’s a wonder every hair in our head isn’t white.— Burdette. 373 ““MamMa, what is the matter with my thumb? It hurts me every time I squeeze it.” “Don’t squeeze it, dear.” “But if I don’t squeeze it how can I tell whether it hurts ?”— Detroit Free Press. St. PETER (f0 head waiter, just ready to enter Paradise) : Hold! Did you ever wait on anybody ? HEAD WAITER (72 shame and deep contrition) : when all my employees were on a strike. Sr. P. (scornfully): You will have to go with the porter who said ‘Thank you” for a ten-cent fee. We cannot forgive such flagrant violations of dignity. H. W.: But I killed the man the next time I met him by concentrating my glance and my diamond on his countenance. P.: 'Tis well, You are forgiven. You shall enter in with the three maidens abreast who never so far forgot themselves as to turn out for any known mortal.—/udge, CALLER: I would like to see the master of the house, please. SERVANT (/o master): There's a gintleman at the dure, sorr, as wud loike to see the masther of the house. MasTeR: Johnny, tell your mother a gentleman has called to see her. JouNN the house. Ma (upstairs) : the kitchen. CALLER (fo Bridget): If there is any one in authority here, madam, I would like to see him—ahem !—her. BRIDGET: Authority? Johnny, ye divil's own blade, there's a gintleman here lukin’ for yez.— Binghamton Republican. Only o—once, : Ma, there’s a man called who wants to see the boss of Tell him, please, that he will find Bridget in The Best! Uti STEEL PENs IN THE ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF DURABILITY, EVENNESS OF POINTS AND WORKMANSHIP. 12 Samples 10 cents, post-paid. IVISON, BLAKEMAN & CO., 753 Broadway, New York. CARDS Sctof Scrap Pictures, one checker board, and large sample book of HIDDEN NAMB CARDS aad cena suite ll for oy ‘tro eeais. CAPITOL CARD COMPANY, Columbus, Ohio. LADIES' Natural Finish cal. Has no equal for ladies’ shoes. inthe market. without the siighte: Allow no substituting. Gloss. BUTTON & OTT RHENISH Cologure: oe Los>zoxe’s PERFUMES make appro- priate and acceptable gifts. ia neat attractive for sale by all dealers. LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 34 BARCLAY STREET, NEW YORE. They are put up ges of various styles, and are Tower 4 minutes’ walk ‘rom Station, Terms moderate. CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS, 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK, Y Palmer House, Chicago. May be applied every day, if desired, injury to the finest French kid. Insist upon having Raven Sold everywhere. . Mfrs.. 71 Barclav St.. N. Glen Mes delightful location on the Hudson River. N.Y. Central R. R. Charming Views, lightful Drives and Walks. Broad Piazzas. Alleys. Rooms shown at all times except Sundays. Apply to or address Mrs. IFRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 East 21st Street, NEW YORK, AND Bellevue Avenue, NEWPORT, - R. L, Invites inspection of his fresh Importations for SUMMER WEAR, Selected forhighest-class yy, requirements. My new Y, Riding-Habit Skirt, 4 Cutonentirely new prin- ciples, is exceptionally neat, close-fitting, grace- ful and comfortable. “LIFE” BINDER, CHEAP, STRONG AND DURABLE, 14 Chestnut St., Phila. Will hold 26 Numbers, Mailed to any partofthe United States for $1.00, postage free. Address: OFFICE OF “LIFE,” 28 W. aad Street. New York, The House on the Hill 10 minutes’ walk from Station. not varnit Is econo Over 10 years Br BINDER 4o minutes from New York via De- Spacious Lawns, Tennis-courts. Bowling Bathing. Stabling. Water. Gas. BROADHEAD, Dobbs Ferry, New York, comicbooks.com