Life — June 14, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WHO WOULDN'T?” R. CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW, when asked by a news- Paper reporter whether he would accept the Republi- can nomination for President if it were offered to him, only replied: Who wouldn't?” And that is an interesting query. Would Mr. Blaine refuse if it were offered [to him in a box, like the Freedom of the City ? We trow not. ROM now on the audiences at the comic-opera perform- ances, viewed from above, will resemble sections of cob- ble-stone pavement. The mesdames and the demoi- selles with les enfants are packed off to the country and the seashore, and paterfamil- ias is left at home alone to write dismal letters to his loved ones and enjoy himself. In his mind's-eye are visions of suburban watering-places and gay company, and in his mind's-ear sounds the ecstat- ic chuckle of the extorted cork. Unhappy man of bus- iness who is confined to the heated city during the sum- mer months! And he could- n't be dragged away to his family by all Buffalo Bill's horses and Buffalo Bill's men. HERE are rumors that a deep purpose underlies the presence of the Hon, Carl Schurz in Berlin. He has been described as friendly with the Emperor, cordial with the Crown Prince, and confidentially intimate with Bismarck. If there is any one in Berlin that Mr. Schurz doesn’t know, it must be some one whose acquaintance is very remotely advantageous, if at all. . . . HICH suggests that the ex-Editor has looked the ground over carefully in Europe and America, and has concluded that Germany is the one of his fatherlands which at present offers the best opportunities to a man of enterprise who is looking around. If the Crown Prince should succeed his father, as may happen any day, what a comfort it would doubtless be to him to have at hand a politician of Herr Schurz’s unrivaled experience, free from factional associations, who could talk English to his mother, address the Reichstag in German, and fit him with a ministry of any shade of sentiment out of the materials at hand! Or, if Count Herbert Bismarck should suddenly become Chan- cellor, what a prop Mr. Hayes’s ex-Secretary might be to him! Or, if Count von Moltke should drop off, there would be General Schurz, that scarred veteran, to consult with, Of course, appearances are not conclusive, but it really does look as if “The Professional German” had got back to Germany with a more or less definite intention of prac- ticing ! . . . EREAFTER we shall have no more hangings to dis- gust our murderers by the publicity of their taking- off. Gentlemen who are condemned to capital punishment now need only go quietly and unostentatiously to the electric machine and shuffle off their mortal coils so quickly and agreeably, that they will be in Paradise—where most murderers announce their intention of going—before they hardly realize that they have left this earth. One scarcely knows now whether he had rather be a convicted murderer or an electric wire lineman. AKE care of the sense and the dollars will take care of themselves. * i J FRESH -AIR Pu eS FUND Before After E take a sincere pleasure in recording the good work so well begun in this excellent charity. One hundred and twenty-seven dollars means a two week's outing in the country for forty-two poor children, and the fraction of another one left over by our esteemed contemporary. We shall soon get the whole child together at this rate, however, and then he, or she, can have a good time, too. W. M. H. 2 8 $15.00 The Matl and Express 100,00 $127.00 We take the liberty of publishing the following letter : 23 PARK Row, June 6, 1888. Dear Lire: Will you kindly permit the enclosed $100 to send 3334 boys and girls in your band to the country for a fortnight? And if the third of a boy or girl should come back a whole one, don’t charge anything for the two-thirds, for that will only be a dividend of Lire. Lovingly yours, The Mail and Express. comicbooks.com