Life — April 26, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE COME into the garden, Maud, ‘And see the daisies sprout, Ere Greeley turns the cold wave on To close the business out. — Washington Criti Diminutive HusBanp (who has been dining late at the club): 1 wanter be a kin’ an’ indulgent husban’, MUSCULAR WIFE (contemptuously) : “Yesh, my dear. wizzer poker, do 1?” “Not much !” “An? I won't drag you (ii) roun’ hair'f your head, will 1?” “Tl bet you won't. Now climb up to bed or I'll pitch you off the balcony." — Texas Si/tings. ELDER Jones: Well, Brother Smith, how many have you in your church ? ELDER SMITH: Oh, two hundred and some odd. How many have you? ELDER JONES: Press. Oh, you do! I do—don’t come (Ac) home and beat you Two hundred and all odd.—Burlington Free 243 Jupce : You say you want a divorce from your wife? ‘Yes, if your Honor please.” “ But reflect for a moment that you have lived together nearly half a century.” “Well, haven't I suffered long enough ?"”"—Texas Sif/tings. PROFESSOR IN ENGLISH: How is it that you got B on your first examination, Mr. Fresleigh, and your last paper hardly deserves E FRESLEIGH ; I—I w-was not well, sir. PRoFEssor : Ah, indeed! On which occasion ?—Harvard Lam- poon. : First BALDHEAD: That's a beautiful piece the orchestra is play- ing. SEcoND BALDHEAD: “Why?” “It is the only one my daughter knows."—New Haven News. ANCIENT AND HONORABLE ARTILLERY OFFICER OF That's Bunker Hill. A. H. A, OFFICER OF Lonpon: Fahncy ! very steep, y’ know! A. H. A. OFFICER OF Boston: That was always the trouble with it! Why, during the fight in 1776 the Boston girls had to come out and tip the hill up on edge so that your grandfathers could roll off. A, H. A. OFFICER OF Lonpon: Fahncy !—7id-Bits. Drucsist (in a/arm, to boy): James, run to Mrs. Smith’s at once. Ah, it is one that will always haunt me. Boston : It don’t seem to be WESTERNER: Why do you Easterners guess so much ? EASTERNER: Why do you Westerners gas so much ?—Harvard Lampoon. I've made an awful mistake ! Druscis" JAMES (seizing his hat): No, no; she sent for ten cents’ worth of one-cent Morphine—quinine—arsenic— stamp) and I sent her ten twos!—M. Y. Sun. Packed Tar Soap Will Cure Dandruff. FACT! RHENISH Cologne: Sa UNDBOKG’S PERFUMES make appro- They are put up priate and acceptable gifts. Rages of various styles, and are im neat attractive pack for sale by all deal LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BARCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. copvaienvap, CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. ‘A Dining Car Line to the Pacific Coast. ‘The completion of the all rail line known as the “ Shasta Route,” between Portland, Ore., and San Francisco, Cal. gives the transcontinental traveler portunity to patronize the famous dining car and Yellowstone Park Route, The Northern Pacific Railroad. While the Northern Pacific has long been the favorite line to Fargo, Moorehead, Grand Forks, Fergus Falls, Helena, Butte, Portland, Ore., Vic- and the only rail route to Jamestown, les City, the Yellowstone Park, Boze- man, Spokane Falls,"Tacoma, Seattle, and many other prominent Western points, it is only recently that rates between the East and San Francisco were made the same by this route as by the older lines. On application to any agent of the Northern Pacific, your nearest ticket agent, or Charles S. Fee, General Passenger and Ticket Agent, N. P. R. R., St. Paul, Minn.;-you will receive, free of charge, Illustrated ‘Tourists’ Books, Yellowstone Park Folders, Time Tables, Rates, and general information with re- ference to the country traversed by the Northern Pacific Railroad. eople of refined taste de- siring specially fine Cigarettes should use our Satin, Four in Hand, Athletic and Cupid. Straight Cut, Hand Made, N from the best Virginia and Turkish leaf, Peerless Tobacco Works. Established 1846. 14 Prize Medais W.S. Kimball & Co Rochester,N.Y. [ANNUAL SPRING EXHIBIT —or— PLEASURE CARRIAGES, Urs of Highest Grade Pleasure Vehicles are invited to view our display for the present season, em- bracing many novelties in design and finish for TOWN AND COUNTRY DRIVING. Every carriage, in its smallest de- tail, built on the premises under our personal supervision. BREWSTER & CO. (OF BROOME STREET), BROADWAY, 47th to 48th STS. Only Place of Business, JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. DS Sctof Scrap Pictures, one CARD‘ CALDS end’ Aces ovtte, all for oxly ‘tro cents. CAPITOL CARD COMPANY, Columbus, Ohio. FUN 2 comicbooks.com