Life — April 12, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RELIABLE INFORMATION. T is interesting to learn from the daily newspapers that District Attorney Fellows is determined to secure the conviction of Jake Sharp; that District Attorney Fellows will enable the defense to secure a jury that will find Sharp innocent; that Keenan and Moloney are coming from Mon- treal to testify in behalf of the people in the Sharp trial ; that Moloney and Keenan will remain true to their friends and scorn the thought of turning informers; that Katie Metz has weakened and is going to confess at the Sharp trial that her previous testimony, that convicted the boodlers, was false ; that Katie Metz will be on hand at the Sharp trial to tell the same story that brought the Aldermen of '84 to grief; that new evidence has been discovered that will strengthen the case against Sharp; that, without the evidence that the Court of Appeals ruled out, Sharp cannot be convicted. These facts, it will be readily understood, are highly impor- tant, if true. * * AFER by far would Jay Gould have been had he stuck to his own weapons in his warfare with the Her- ald, instead of taking up edged tools that he knows nothing about. Gould is evi- dently the kind of a man who, being armed with a Winchester, and meeting a Zulu, would drop his rifle to fight with the assegai, and then use it as a club instead of attempting to stick his antagonist with it. And what an egregious ass this expert financier shows himself to be in his coarse, vulgar, and ridiculous attack upon the proprietor of the Hera/d/ . How, forsooth, do the Bacchanalian pleasures of the gay Bennett bear upon the alleged crimes of the Wall Street wrecker? As well might Jacob Sharp plead the immoralities of the Shah of Persia in extenuation of his own de- pravity. * * * A“ that Gould has proved by his letter is that the Herald has pierced through his pachydermatous ex- terior and touched the quick, and that, in his rage, he is unable to write the English language correctly. If so pre- tentious a pot as Gould is going to call the kettle black, he is expected to be grammatical, at least. R. ELLIOTT F. SHEPARD, the editor of the AZaz/ and Express, was just in time the other day to pre- vent the line “mors omnibus communts” getting into the Paper over the obituary column. “‘ More omnibuses for the community,’ indeed!” said Mr. Shepard, sharply, as he dis- charged the offending sub-editor. ‘It’s a fortunate thing that I had a classical education. Otherwise I should have lost every Christian aristocrat on the subscription list.” * * * T is understood that when Colonel Shepard purchased the Mad and Express, men who knew him intimately went out and drank things with one another, and rubbed their hands in sinful glee, exclaiming, ‘ Now there'll be some fun!’ The fun, so far as heard from, has materialized in the form of those bits of Bible. * * * 7 OR the sake of the esteemed Madl and Express let us consider for whose consumption Mr. Shepard ‘inserts those texts of Scripture. Are they for the superlatively good or the aggressively wicked, or the indifferent mediums? The instructed pious know them already, and know where to look for more of the same; the toughs will probably show irritation at buying a newspaper and finding that they have got a tract; how the indifferent middlers will be affected is for Colonel Shepard to find out, for it is in that class that he will naturally look for his customers. * * * F he should ascertain that he is not suiting the taste of any appreciable part of the community, we warn him not to infer from that that people are not interested in the Bible. The warmest admirers of pie may not care to con- sume it at breakfast. Many a good joint has been spoiled in the cooking, and many an excellent meal neutralized by un- skilful serving. Of intellectual as well as corporeal repasts it has sometimes to be observed: “God sent the food, but where did the cook come from?” * * * R. PETER HERDIC, the inventor of the cabs, is dead. Irate riders in the vehicles which bear his name will see the impropriety of further personal maledic- tions. De mortuizs—verb. sap. * * * E have all admired the noble heroism of the late Artemus Ward, who offered to sacrifice all his wife’s relatives upon the altar of his country; and there is some- thing of a similar nature in Mr. Bergh’s generous bequest of his wife's property to the society with the long name. comicbooks.com